Hello,one and all,in this post I'll share some of my very candid thoughts on random things over the past decade in wrestling.These are my own opinions,but really from my crazy,fan-boy point of view,as opposed to my 'sophisticated,know-it-all,journalist' point of view.From DX,to Kelly Kelly,to TNA,see what I really think.
Trish and Lita-LEAVE LITA ALOOOOONE!!!!!
Ahhh,Lita,Lita,Lita,where art thou Lita?Nice little career you had till the end.Although I have,do,and always will love you,Trish is my #1,and no amount of psycho marks can change that.No matter how many times bitchy little kids want to argue how much better you were than Trish,you simply,weren't.
You may have started the trend of 'Diva',but Trish made the trend 'Diva'.Trish was the most dominant female in WWE history,simple as that.And to all the cult-devotees of Lita,kiss Trish's fat,juicy,ass!
Hornswaggle-If only I could get two minutes with you in a ring...the clean-up crew would need one hell of a damn raise,but we all know Vince's dumb ass wouldn't care...
Go back to the pot at the end of the rainbow you crawled out of.
Melina and Mickie James-It's funny how Melina came into the company first than Pig-I mean Mickie,yet she's put on the backburner.Melina kicks ass,and everyone needs to friggin' open there eyes!MELINA IS THE RIGHTFUL QUEEN OF THE WWE!NOT PIG-ehh MICKIE!*Crazy stare*
Oh,and what's with all the crap about they're the "new Trish and Lita"?!No,ya' boobs!They're the new Melina and Mickie!
(Notice how I often place Melina's name in front of Mickie's to signify the dominance she has over her)
John Morrison-All hail king JoMo!Can't wait to see you take over WWE...and propose to Melina already so you can make some smexy babies!
Dolph Ziggler-Freaky haircut,small ass tights,so...the porn business not hirin'?
DX-Wow,how to mighty have fallen.Two washed up,old beanbags still begging for that thrill of performance.Nah,nah,jk,jk.They can both still put on one hell of a show,and I hope after they retire they can make the WWE into what it once was by helping behind the scenes.
(Ya' got that?BEHIND the scenes,no more annoying on my screenny)
Layla El-Work it,gurl!
Alicia Fox-Ms.Foxy,you best be ready to rule the women's division.
Hulk Hogan-Skitsofrenia is pretty widespread,huh?
Eric Bischoff-Thank you for providing us with much douchebaggery over the years!
Stone Cold Steve Austin-Still kickin' ass,and we love it!
Gail Kim-Look what ya'll got yourself into now!You were on top of the world,and now look at you...on the bottom of Maryse's sexiness,wait,maybe you're not so bad off...
*Cue Viva La Vida*
Kelly Kelly-You're yelling in the ring gives me headaches,at least when Trish did it it was hot...
TNA-So,recreating WCW is the way to go,huh?And they said Dixie was in charge.
Krissy Vaine-I could so be your best friend.
WWE-YOU SUCK!YOU SUCK!YOU SUCK!YOU SUCK!YOU SUCK ASS!
Sunny-Bitch,please,you ain't that great...weeeeell...
Sable-If only people new.
Luna Vachon-Ok,how did you not win the championship again?
MNM-ZOMG!!!!IT'S MNM!If only things had worked out backstage...but then we wouldn't have Melina,so,oh well!
SHIMMER-Why aren't you on t.v yet?Show the lil' girls how it's REALLY done!
The Rock,whoops!Dwayne Johnson...-Sellout at his best.So,how's the movie business goin'?
Torrie Wilson-Are you and Krissy Vaine unofficially best friends?Cuz' I could SO see that.
P.S.YOU WERE ROBBED OF THAT DIVA'S TITLE,DAMMIT!
Stacy Keibler or Kiebler-Did ya' have to go at the highest point in your career just to be a Z-list celebrity?*sigh*At least you're still hot,and you were on George Lopez!
Victoria-Congrats on an awesome,but underrated,career.So classy,and a prime example of what a real woman is.
Jazz-I hope you go to TNA and kick Kong's ass...congrats on the baby!
Molly Holly-If you're not inducted into the Hall of Fame,I will personally start a Molly Holly worship club/cult.
Ivory-Oh so underrated,but so great at what you did.I'll always <3 you.
Bret Hart-Well,I wish you would've stayed away from WWE...but at least I know ya' love Melina!(Let the douchebaggery begin)
Nattie Neidhart-Sorry,I can't call you Natalya.You better break Trish's record for most Women's Championship reigns.I vote 10 reigns for Nattie (sic),who's with me?!
Vince Mcmahon-How is it that you still run the WWE?Go on a lil' vaca,let your bitter out,and then come back.Release all the people who suck (Lord knows TNA will be begging for the lot of them),and make WWE pg-13 again!
(I can't stand not hearing Melina call someone a bitch...)
So,what'd you think?On point,or so wrong?Let me know in the comments!