Hawks Coach Mike Woodson Miced Up! (Satire)
Oh, Mike Woodson. The man of the hour. As a die hard Atlanta fan, there is a special place in my heart for Mike Woodson. Sure, the Hawks just lost by 32 to the Magic last night, but what Mike Woodson has done during his tenure in Atlanta has been great. He took one of the worst teams in the NBA and developed the same personnel (mostly) into a contender.
But, unfortunately, there is such thing as tough love. I make fun of just about every sports icon, but for some reason I have found making fun of Mike Woodson the most fun.
Ever wonder what coaches are really saying to their players? Well, thanks to some inside access, we have the inside scoop. The following slides display some of the best "miced up moments" of the season so far. Enjoy!
**I do not intend for any of this to be offensive in anyway. It is essentially the same comedy we see on T.V. all of the time, and it is also likely what really goes on in the world of CMW**
Mike Shows Off His Photogenic Side
Mike—"I do like the ladies! I got a shiny head!"
Mike Spots a Stranger in Practice
Mike—"Alright. Alright. Good shooting boys. Practice your free throws...**whispering** Josh, Josh, come here for a second."
Mike—"Who the hell is that?"
Mike—"I never seen him before. Guy looks like he's from Lion Witch and the Wardrobe. What is he? We got a fawn on our team"
Mike Smells Something Tasty
The Celtics are shooting free throws. Coach Mike Woodson calls over J-Smoove for a second.
Mike—"Hey, Josh, Josh, come here"
Mike—"You smell that?"
Mike—"They got popcorn in here! No one told me they got popcorn!"
Josh- "Ha, aight coach, your crazy." Smith walks off.
Mike—"I aint crazy! I just like popcorn! Dang, nobody wants to listen to me...Hey, girl! Second row. Yeah you. Whered you get that popcorn at?...Wait! Hold up. They got chocolate covered pretzels too?"
Mike Lets One Go
Mike—"Man, I aint even eating chicken salad again!"
Mike Is Getting Frustrated!
Mike—"Can someone PLEASE TELL ME WHERE YALL ARE GETTING THAT POPCORN!"
Mike Talks to Bibby for the First Time
Mke—"What the hell is wrong with your teeth Mr. Tumnus!?"
Mike Gets Distracted...Again
Mike—"Hold up!! They giving out free pretzels over there??"
Mike—"Kevin, I'm so sorry about Papa Zachulia trying to kiss you. He's a homosexual. He likes men!"
KG—"No, no, it's okay"
Mike—" Alright. I'll send you a care package"
Mike—"Hey Flip, you think Pazas gay?"
Flip—"Zaza? No coach"
Mike—"No, I know, but just pretend"
Mike—"You think he's gay?"
Mike—"Alright. Alright. I'm gonna find out!"
Mike is Uncomfortable
Mike—"He might be gay. He gotta be gay. I hope he ain't looking at me."
Mike—"Hey, uuuhhhh, Papa? Zaza? Whatever. Come here"
Mike—"You know what I'm bout to ask, but I'm not gonna ask. Okay, I will. You gay?"
Zaza—"WHAT?! COACH. WHAT THE? NO, NO. I'm leaving back to Georgia if you don't stop playing!"
Mike—"Da hell? You in Georgia. Stupid guy don't know what he likes or where he is...mmmm mmm mmm mm mm"
Mike Tracks a Fly
Mike—"That ref got a fly on the back of his head! Hold up, I'm gonna smack it off!"
Mike Decodes a Hairy Message
Mike—"That ref done used popcorn butter in his hair!! Somebody better tell me where the popcorns at!"
Mike Gets Sick of the Conspiracy
Mike—"He just got some popcorn on his shirt, don't TELL ME THERE ISN'T ANY POPCORN IN THIS BUILDING!"
Mike Turns on his Team
Mike—"Yeah, that's right Narnia...Walk away!"
Mike is Infuriated
Mike—"You telling me they don't got popcorn! Fifth row. Upper Deck. They are up there and are taunting me with POPCORN!"
Mike Calls for Help!
Mike—"You! Over there! Get me one of them pretzels! I'm going start taking names!"
Mike Takes Charge
Mike—"Yeah! That's right. You don't tell me where the popcorn comes from, and I'm gonna start knocking more people down!"
AAAAAAACCCCCHHHHOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!! Bless me.
Ref—"Sir, we are going to kick you out if you do not stop"
Mike—"Alright, alright, alright. A man is just hungry you know."
Mike Is Saddened
Mike—"Can't a man get some popcorn? I should have signed Orville Redenbaucher."