How Bad Have You Got It? NASCAR Tattoos Reveal The Ugly Truth
With Danica Patrick securing a part time ride for NASCAR's 2010 season, we as fans had to rethink our image of what a stock car driver should look like.
Ms. Patrick burst onto the scene with no apologies for her suggestive Go Daddy ads or bikini clad pictorials in Sports Illustrated's swimsuit edition.
Last year when she added angel wings and stars to her existing half American flag, half checkered flag tattoo it got people took notice.
She's bringing sexy back into NASCAR via the "tramp stamp."
Spell-Check Twice, Ink Once
Tattoos, when properly thought out, inked and spell-checked, can be elaborate little pieces of art that the owner proudly wears on his sleeve, back, neck, thigh or wherever they damn well please.
The following slides prove a level of fandimonium that only the most loyal (or drunk at the time) possess.
The Checkered Flag
"The world is divided into two kinds of people: those who have tattoos, and those who are afraid of people with tattoos." -Author Unknown
In this case be afraid, be very afraid!
"I always look for a woman who has a tattoo. I see a woman with a tattoo, and I'm thinking, okay, here's a gal who's capable of making a decision she'll regret in the future." ~Richard Jeni
Ummm yeah, I got nothing...next please!
Seriously, WTF?! Who gets a Kyle Petty tattoo?
The True Companion
"You may lose your most valuable property through misfortune in various ways. You may lose your house, your wife and other treasures. But of your mojo, you cannot be deprived except by death. It will be your ornament and companion until your last day." ~Netana Whakaari of Waimana
Stewart's head is nearly life-size and immortalized with this tattoo, he becomes the perfect strong, silent type.
He'll be there through good and bad, sickness and in health, for richer or for poorer, 'til death do they part.
"You don't know what you're alive for, until you know what you'd die for." -Author Unknown
Earnhardt Sr., even in the afterlife, remains one of NASCAR's most popular and beloved drivers of all time.
The Ch- Ch- Ch- Chia
"Add 1/4 cup of water to two teaspoons of Chia seeds. Stir the mixture after 15 minutes to moisten all seeds, then let it set for 24 hours. This process softens the seed coat and begins the growth cycle of your Chia seeds. In another container, also soak your tattooed Chia head for 24 hours."
"Carefully apply the seeds evenly to the grooves of your tattooed head, using your fingers, a small knife, or a spatula. Fill your Chia to the top with water. Check the water level daily and add additional water whenever necessary. Some leakage in the drip tray is normal. Discard the accumulated water daily."
"Keep the head full of water. Moist seeds should sprout in 3-5 days, covering that outdated tattoo."
The Tramp Stamp
"Tattoos are like marriage: it's a lifelong commitment, it hurts like hell, and the color fades over time." -Author Unknown
There is a reason that it's called the tramp stamp.
"Think before you ink!"
Drivers and their numbers come and go, but a tattoo is forever.
"Tattoo. What a loaded word it is, rife with associations to goons, goofs, bikers, tribal warriors, carnival artists, drunken sailors and floozies." ~Jon Anderson
Who doesn't like a man with six-pack abs?
Oh and Mr. Anderson, you forgot to mention beer drinking, hell raising, bonafide rednecks!
The Gang Symbol
Prison tattoos can symbolize toughness or refusal to accept authority. They can also be gang symbols like this one above worn by a member of the feared "Junior Nation" gang.
Before choosing a prison-style tattoo, make sure you understand its meaning.
The Old Skool
"Your body is a temple, but how long can you live in the same house before you redecorate?" ~Author Unknown
The owner of this tattoo was a 88 fan when the 88 wasn't cool!
"Beauty is skin deep. A tattoo goes all the way to the bone." ~Vince Hemingson
Step off ladies, this one is all mine!
"A genuine tattoo.... tells a story. I like stories and tattoos, no matter how well done, and if they don't tell a story that involves you emotionally, then they're just there for decoration, then they're not a valid tattoo. There has to be some emotional appeal or they're not, to my way of thinking, a real tattoo. It tells people what you are and what you believe in, so there's no mistakes." ~Leo, tattooist
I beg to differ, but that's just me.
The Whole Lotta Love
"The universality of tattooing is a curious subject for speculation." ~James Cook
Jaguar, Mercedes, Aston Martin...I get it, but who possibly has that much love for a Chevrolet Impala?
"Women, don't get a tattoo. That butterfly looks great on your breast when you're twenty or thirty, but when you get to seventy, it stretches into a condor." ~Billy Elmer
...Or a Leg Man?
"She got legs, she knows how to use them."
The Original Rainbow Warrior
"When the designs are chosen with care, tattoos have a power and magic all their own. They decorate the body but they also enhance the soul." ~Michelle Delio
HA, made you look!
OK, so it's not a NASCAR tattoo and has nothing to do with Jeff Gordon, but I couldn't resist. This one just might go down in history as the worst tattoo EVER!