Men's Golf

Tiger's Real Story (In His Own Words, Rhyming!)

LOS ANGELES, CA - DECEMBER 11:  A figurine of golf legend Tiger Woods stands on a Champs sporting goods store shelf on December 11, 2009 in Los Angeles, California. Woods announced that he will take an indefinite break from professional golf to concentrate on repairing family relations after admitting to infidelity in his marriage.  (Photo by David McNew/Getty Images)
David McNew/Getty Images
Moose .Correspondent IDecember 31, 2009

I hopped into the Caddy to take it for a drive,
I didn't see the tree or the fire hydrant.
Elin's coming toward's me with my new 5 iron,
Up to now she never even knew where I went!

I'm laying in the street and it's just about three,
My mouth is all bloody and my cheeks are sore.
She was swinging like the branches in a sycamore tree,
but what bothers me most is she never yelled fore!

I was drivin' to the Walmart for the Black Friday sale.
I had to get up early 'fore the good stuff was gone!
I can't believe the tabloids aren't buying my tale,
They're talking to my neighbors who called 9-1-1!

Oh it's Tiger's world (yes it's Tiger's world)
and it's cavin' in (yes it's Tiger's world)
I said,"Don't let this little thing get your head hurtin'
Then she took the fuzzy head cover off my Nike 3 wood!
Oh it's Tiger's world (yes it's Tiger's world)
and it's cavin' in (yes it's Tiger's world)

She went digging through my cell phone and she found some texts.
I don't think she was happy with what she found out!
With a house full of golf clubs you know what happened next,
like something out of a Holyfield-Tyson bout!

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