At 10am on December 30, 2009, after years of mediocrity capped by flashes of greatness, the Texas Tech football program died a tragic death resulting from fatal blows from the University athletic director’s ego.

Tech fans can thank Adam James, his inability to run routes properly, general laziness, and his father’s use of his position and influence, to dismantling years of labor.

“My son is an awesome player,” said Craig James, current ESPN analyst and football has-been. “So what if he doesn’t want to work hard, has sub-standard receiving numbers, and may drop five or 10 passes a game, he deserves more.”

When asked about feelings regarding the demise of his alma mater, current Tech QB Taylor Potts responded “James is getting routes across the middle as I lob them high and slow (this weekend).”

Qualified candidates to replace Mike Leach have been put on notice that while the university may pursue and hire you, clashes in personality, ego, and not playing kids with certain last names, will result in your termination just in time for bonuses to not be paid.

The Texas Tech football program is survived by Wes Welker, Michael Crabtree. and an empty trophy case.

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