New Year, New Look: NHLers in Need Of a Makeover in 2010
A style maven I’m not. A fashionista, far from it. A metro, think again.
Nevertheless, while I may never be mistaken for the late Mr. Blackwell, the notoriously famous fashion critic well-known for his worst-dressed lists, I think my testosterone-fuelled veins are more than capable of calling a spade a spade when it comes to haute couture of the hockey world.
And while all icemen should be looking to impress with their skill on the glacial sleet, putting their best foot (or in this instance, face) forward is something that shouldn’t be overlooked as well.
With that in mind, let’s take a quick look at some NHLers who would benefit from a spruced up look in 2010.
Like Daniel Alfredsson before him, Hartnell is recognized throughout the league for sporting one of the league’s craziest dos. This insane mane bears a strong resemblance to cartoon curmudgeon Krutsy the Clown or the over-the-top prop comic Carrot Top.
For Hartnell, a date with the barber’s shears should top the to-do list in 2010.
You’d think a guy who interned at Vogue magazine and also professed to playing with dolls as a child wouldn’t make it on a list like this, right.
Think again. For every chic suit and stylish pair of shoes he dons, Avery can also be sighted in odd-ball get ups like Rick Moranis-type specs and lumberjack worthy plaids. An easy fix for Avery...follow the KIS principle—keep it simple.
The Pearl Jam look would be fine if Witt was fronting an early 90's grunge band, but it’s an erroneous guise for someone patrolling the blue line for an NHL team. Chopping his locks for a more fashion-forward quaff (I’m thinking a faux hawk) would do wonders for his image.
From pink golf shirts to blue-tinged mohawks, McCabe could be considered a fashion disaster ever since his early days with the Toronto Maple Leafs.
Since moving down to the sunny south, it doesn’t look like things have improved all that much. This year, No. 24 has been spotted with an unsightly goatee that brings to mind evil Spock from an old episode of the original Star Trek series.
The solution: ditch the dye, pass up the pastels, and book a date with a straight razor.
He’s one of the league’s marquee players and is singed to a 13-year contract extension worth $124 million, but you’d be hard pressed to know it from his scraggly hair, patchy and unshaven mug, and sometimes average Joe duds.
I’m fine with guys doing the facial growth thing for the playoffs, but Ovie often looks like he can’t afford a razor. A few words of advice: buy some stock in Gillette, get the hairdo shaped from time to time, and wear your NHL Awards/game day suits a little more often.
Unless you’ve lost a bet, are still in college, or are hoping to break up with your girlfriend before things start to get too serious, the 1970s porn-star stache probably shouldn’t be green-lighted.
White seems to be a great team guy and a fan favorite, and at first it was kind of funny to see him rocking the moustache. Now that it’s been around for a few years, not so much.
My tip to White, stop trying to channel Lanny McDonald and give the full beard a go.