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What I Think Santa Should Bring These Athletes

DALLAS - DECEMBER 18:  Forward Dirk Nowitzki #41 of the Dallas Mavericks takes a shot against Carl Landry #14 of the Houston Rockets on December 18, 2009 at American Airlines Center in Dallas, Texas.  NOTE TO USER: User expressly acknowledges and agrees that, by downloading and/or using this Photograph, user is consenting to the terms and conditions of the Getty Images License Agreement.  (Photo by Ronald Martinez/Getty Images)
Ronald Martinez/Getty Images
Avry Lewis-McDougallContributor IDecember 17, 2016

Hey Folks, It's Avry again and I'm back with another blog. I'm here in Toronto in a clothing show room with a laptop on my lap so I figured why not do a Christmas gift blog for athletes?

For Houston Rockets player Carl Landry:

His two front teeth or Dentures

-As most of us know, Landry got actually 3 teeth knocked out by Dalls Mavericks forward Dirk Nowitzki, the player with the sharpest elbows in the NBA since Shawn Bradley. I have to give credit to Carl, he shrugged off getting his chiclets knocked out (and were in the elbow of Dirk) as if he only got a slight slap to the mouth.

For Tiger Woods

A driver's skill test

-Because even a 3 legged hippo can drive a car better than Tiger.

(What? you thought I was going to say Tiger should get some condoms from Santa? I'm not that messed up get your mind out of the gutter I would never make those kind of jokes about Tiger..actually I would and there are some great Tiger jokes at the end of the blog).

For the Toronto Maple Leafs

A copy of NHL 10 for the Play Station 3

-This way, the Leafs will be able to become a Stanley Cup contender again by trading Ian White to the Pens for Sidney Crosby and by trading backup goalie Joey MacDonald to New Jersey for Martin Brouder.

For the new GM of the Toronto Blue Jays Alex Anthopoulos

A remote that can allow you to rewind time and do over mistakes.

-Dude, you traded away the face of your franchise for prospects.


The new Tiger Woods/Nike slogan: Just do me.

Tiger Woods has a new movie coming out: Its called Crouching Tiger, Hidden hydrant.

(courtesy of, AH! now you cant sue me I said where I got the jokes from)

Remeber folks, listen to my sports show Avry's Sports show on new episodes come on January 5th 2010! Also, follow me on twitter at

Happy Holidays folks and remeber dont drink and drive.

 PS: I had image cropping issues.

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