Solving Tiger Woods' Sponsorship Problems Is Easy: Endorse Condoms (satire)

Aaron LiebmanAnalyst IDecember 17, 2009

The mistresses of Tiger Woods are like the "Harry Potter" film and book series; every day it seems another one comes out.
It seems it's the biggest trend and newest bandwagon to jump on.
It's getting to the point where even I think I might have slept with Tiger Woods.
Despite recently being named athlete of the decade, sponsors from all walks of life are dropping Tiger faster than Pee Wee Herman twenty years ago.
It can't be just the act of infidelity as much as who it was with.
Woods has always had the demeanor of a simple, maybe even boring man. He's been the golden boy of the world for so long.
So as his sponsors begin to drop him, there are still options for Woods in terms of endorsements.
We haven't really ever seen a good Trojan condom commercial, and there is no specific spokesperson for them.  And since no illegitimate children have been announced from these mistresses, we know Tiger uses the product.
Another option for him could be endorsing a cell phone provider.  He probably gave them enough business this year alone.  All they'd have to do is reimburse his bills and give him free service.
At least other athletes now know why they probably weren't able to get any hookers during specific weeks of the year.  They also know why Tiger was unreachable via phone and unable to hang out.
In the end, Tiger Woods' options are not completely gone, he just needs to get creative and find products more closely related to his new found lifestyle.