The Top Five Guys Who Will End Your Fantasy Season Tonight

It’s Week 14——aka the final week of most fantasy football regular seasons.

Thousands of fantasy egg heads——those sitting on the postseason bubble——will meet their reality tonight.

The reality is that your season is over; you can go back to rooting against Tony Romo again.

He’s no longer on your fantasy squad.

Tonight’s Monday Night Football matchup between the Arizona Cardinals and the San Francisco 49ers may not just clinch the NFC West for the Cards.

For a select few, their fantasy playoff bubble will be floated or busted tonight, based on some individual performances.

With all that being said, here are the top five players who will render next Sunday’s NFL slate of games moot for you.

If you’re relying on anyone else to get you into the playoffs, perhaps the postseason isn’t for you.

5. Anquan Boldin

Last year, Anquan Boldin suffered a vicious hit against the New York Jets, a shot that allegedly left his jaw with an under bite.

You’ll experience a similar "punch to the face" feeling tonight when the Cards’ receiver scores three touchdowns——two shy of the total amount of TDs he’s caught all season.

Consider it fantasy karma for that time you stood up during this year’s fantasy draft and declared that, "The only good thing about Boldin's fateful loss of smell, due to that Jets hit, is that now he can eat all the asparagus he wants."

Thanks, Quan.

See you at next year’s draft. Bring your checkbook.

4. Vernon Davis

Vernon Davis is going to end your season tonight.

The prospect of throwing away that $100 league entry fee is enough to make you, well, Vernon Davis mad.

After all, we’re talking about a highly volatile guy who made a cameo appearance in Ron Artest’s aptly named music video titled “Get Lo.”

Pray tonight that Niners head coach Mike Singletary sends "Stormin' Vernon" to an early shower tonight——again.

Otherwise, better start your homework for the upcoming NASCAR fantasy season.

3. Frank Gore

Chances are Frank Gore will knock you out of the playoffs tonight——if he hasn’t already.

Those hurting will be Gore owners, who likely wasted a first- or second-round pick on the San Francisco running back.

Thanks for the six touchdowns this season, Frank.

2. Larry Fitzgerald

Larry Fitzgerald, Sr., of the Minnesota Spokesman-Recorder is reporting that his son, Larry Fitzgerald, Jr., just punted you 100 yards from Tuesday and clear out of the playoffs.

No? Try this one.

Larry Fitzgerald believes in curses. He also believes that you——not the Arizona Cardinal receiver——should be the ominous Madden 2010 cover boy and not him.

You, after all, are the one who drafted Frank Gore ahead of Fitzgerald. See you at the draft next summer.

1. Kurt Warner

How does this guy keep weaseling his way into every important game?

Before long, they’ll erect a bronze statue of the Arizona Cardinal quarterback in his Iowa hometown.

If Warner adds to his 23 touchdown passes tonight, you could be the one bagging groceries come Week 15. Or worse, married to Brenda.