Top 10 Best Boobs in Mixed Martial Arts

By (Senior Writer) on December 13, 2009

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Boobs and fighting go hand in hand. Why do you think that most bar fights happen in the first place?

So, what could be more appropriate on an MMA page than a breakdown of the best racks in MMA? Far too much emphasis is put on kicks, punches and elbows. Knuckles aren't sexy, shins aren't sexy... okay, feet are kind of sexy, but we can do better.

Well, maybe fight results or fighter interviews, but boobs come a close third. Enjoy!

10. Emmanuel “Manny” Yarbrough

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What? You thought this was a slideshow featuring nothing but women? That is sexist and will not be tolerated in this slideshow.

At 6’6” and 600 pounds, what Manny lacks in perkiness he more than makes up for in cup size. This man-mountain made his MMA debut way back in 1994 at UFC three, losing to the Nut Cracker himself Keith Hakney via submission due to strikes in only 1:59.

Manny ended his MMA career in 1998 after losing at Pride three, again by submission due to strikes. His pro MMA record stands at 1-2. How did he earn his one win? Submission due to smother… no, seriously.

9. Chad “Akebono” Rowan

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At 6’8" and nearly 500 pounds, Rowan’s MMA career lasted exactly two years. It started with a submission loss via wrist lock (don’t laugh, it’s embarrassing) to Royce Gracie on December 31, 2004 and ended on December 31, 2006 with a submission loss to Paulo Silva.

Amassing a professional MMA record of 0-4 (three submissions and a U.D.) Rowan’s biggest mark on the MMA world was the imprint his breasts left on the canvas after this fall.

8. Telia Tuli

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He only had one MMA fight, but it was a fight to remember. He was the buxom fellow that got his tooth knocked out by Gerard Gordeau in the first ever UFC fight back in 1993.

Tuli laid under the radar until his recent appearance as Kimo in the blockbuster comedy “Forgetting Sarah Marshall”. Now going by the name Taylor Wily, he may be running from his UFC loss, which is fine, as long as that run is in Baywatch style slow motion.

7. Josh Haynes

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One of the most experienced fighters on this list (12-10) the 5’9", 205 pound Haynes also has the smallest cup size. Actually, the reason he is on the list is due to what appears to be his massive weight loss. It is always good to see that you can loss the weight and still keep a little jiggle.

If there is anything bigger than his breasts it is his heart. Haynes won over fight fans with his never-die attitude on the Ultimate Fighter before losing to an ever bigger tit in the form of Michael Bisping.

6. Eric “Butterbean” Esch

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Esch started his career as a boxer and gained fame for his haymaker, piling up a 77-8 (58 wins via knockout) record before moving to kickboxing where he stunned the world by lifting his pork encrusted legs on his way to a dismal 3-4 record.

Esch has since turned his attention towards being a BBQ entrepreneur turned MMA fighter while sporting a tight package at 5’11” and 350 pounds Esch has amassed a pro MMA record of 13-7.

Butterball…Butterbean also has some of the best side-boob in the biz.

5. Wagner

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He has some of the largest breasts, but by far it is his crazy bedroom eyes that solidify him on this list. Martins (5-6 professional), whose full name is actually Wagner da Conceicao Martins, name reportedly translates into “breast like islands, eyes like heaven” hasn’t fought in over a year following a string of three consecutive losses.

Remember, if “The Girls Next Door” has taught us anything it is that just because you have no talent in life, doesn’t mean the world shouldn’t see your awesome cans.

4. Darill Schoonover

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Oh, come on, you knew it was coming. Schoonover (10-1) has gained worldwide fame thanks to Quinton “Rampage” Jackson’s inability to think of anything clever, hence his bestowing the nickname “titties” on the promising young fighter.

His breast aren’t the biggest, or roundest, but damn it, if they are good enough for Rampage to fanaticize about and fixate on, who are we to argue?

3. Zak Jensen

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The near talent-less fighter from Minnesota gained most of national notoriety from his low level of talent and even lower level of mental toughness. The TUF season 10 punching bag stepped into the octagon against “Titties” Schoonover and actually seemed to dwarf his opponent in cup size. Then he got triangled the f*** out.

Jensen, who is known locally for having a big mouth and only being able to throw hay-makers should not go gentle into that good night, he should be remember for being the real boob of The Ultimate Fighter.

2. Roy “Big Country” Nelson

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There can be no doubt that the former IFL champ turned TUF champ has the kind of round supple breasts that any woman would envy, too bad you need to climb a mountain just to get to his foothills.

The Big Cunt-ry has shown that if there is anything bigger than his breasts it his gut. And if there is anything bigger than his gut it is his mouth…not sexually, just that he talks a big game…okay, kind of sexually.

1. Okay, you earned it... Gina Carano

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You actually went through all 10 slides, thanks for playing along, here is your reward.

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