The Heisman Trophy Candidates And Their Family Guy Counterparts
The Heisman Trophy ceremony takes place this Saturday in Manhattan, New York and it should be one of the most contested races in recent memory.
With the decline of Florida’s Tim Tebow, the rise of Stanford’s Toby Gerhart and Alabama’s Mark Ingram, and the images of Nebreska’s speedy Ndamukong Suh still creeping into Texas’ Colt McCoy’s head, picking a victor from this field of candidates will be no easy task.
Depending on which coast you reside in and whether or not you have actually seen games from these emerging players, your vote probably tends to lean in the direction of the player that is closest to your five digit zip code.
While all of the candidates (except maybe Tebow) have an excellent chance of taking home this hardware, whoever does end up winning the trophy, and the honor that it brings, will no doubt receive criticism from cynical fans in the three other time zones across the country.
But with all of the games in the books, all we can do now is sit, wait, and discuss.
The victor of this individual tribute will come down to how far the voters can expand their horizons, power through any unwarranted biases, and vote for the right candidate.
To make things a little easier on those who are actually lucky enough to enter a ballot for this sought after trophy, I thought I would compare these candidates to something that everyone in the world should be able to relate to...Family Guy characters.
Tim Tebow—Meg Griffin
There is always a character that people just flat out don’t like.
Meg Griffin is boring and brings nothing extra to the table. She could be off the show and many people would not seriously give a damn.
Tim Tebow has worked his way into this category the past few years, mainly because his entire college career has been followed so closely that people feel like they have heard enough about him.
He has already won the Heisman once, been nominated way too many times, and there is no freaking way that this guy will or should win the award again.
Colt McCoy—Peter Griffin
Peter Griffin is the head of the household, supposedly. If it wasn’t for Lois, the entire house would probably fall to shambles, but his erratic behavior is extremely entertaining and there wouldn’t be a show with out him.
The same goes for Colt McCoy.
McCoy is supposedly the head of this Heisman class but his performance against the Cornhuskers in the Big 12 Championship game would say otherwise.
While the Longhorns were able to come out the winner and secure a BCS Championship berth, they definitely didn’t do it on the shoulders of Mr. McCoy.
But without McCoy this group would not be complete.
McCoy’s antics during the Big 12 season were impressive but his inability to perform against the tougher defenses this season should leave voters wanting more.
But since the show revolves around this spotlight character/position, it is hard for people to differentiate from deserving and earning this award.
Mark Ingram—Glenn Quagmire
Giggity Giggity Goo!
Quagmire, one of the funniest side characters in the show, recently got overlooked by Fox for his own spin off as they chose Cleveland instead. While his sexual innuendos are flat-out hilarious, I have hard time believing that he could hold a full 30-minute sitcom.
Many can make the same claim with Mark Ingram.
Ingram had several great games this season and turned heads because of the conference he plays in, but how many people think Ingram has the ability to carry Alabama if everything else failed.
If the game against Auburn has anything to say about it, the answer should be zero.
Ingram choked big time against the Tigers, collecting only 30 yards. He did much better the next week against Florida, but if you take Ingram out of that game, Alabama still had a great chance to win with their quarterback Greg McElroy.
Take away McElroy from both of those games, and the Crimson Tide could be rolling to the Sugar Bowl instead.
Toby Gerhart—Stewie Griffin
Find me a person who watches Family Guy and I will show you a person who absolutely loves Stewie Griffin.
He is smart, witty, and crazy enough to get away with anything.
If you have watched a single Stanford game this season, then you know and love the enormous power, amazing agility, and unexpected speed that Gerhart is able to bring to the table.
The guy runs over people like a Mack Truck. Taking him down with just one tackler is absolutely futile and once he gets into an open area on the field you might as well give up, because he is gone.
People across the nation are finally starting to learn about this West Coast beast but we will see how many voters actually take a look at his numbers and present him with the award that he has most certainly earned and deserves.
Ndamukong Suh—Ollie Williams (The Weather Guy)
It’s Gonna Rain!
Ollie Williams is a character that die hard Family Guy fans will know, but the casual fan may have seen him before, but probably couldn’t tell you his name.
Suh has fallen into this same category.
Casual fans have probably heard his name in passing but probably haven’t seen him play or really know what this senior defensive tackle has done to prove his worth.
Suh’s 82 total tackles and 12 sacks are really quite impressive, especially his four sacks in the Big 12 Champion game.
Without Suh, Nebraska probably wouldn’t have gone as far as they have this season, but have his numbers really made a loud enough racket to be the first defender since Charles Woodson to win the award?
While he is an extreme dark horse to win, if Toby Gerhart doesn’t grab it, Suh is the next most deserving player waiting on the list, by far.