Tiger Woods Apologizes For Not Banging Any Black Girls

Danny CarberryContributor IDecember 9, 2009

(Associated Hump) - Orlando, FL

Tiger Woods has recently posted a message on the gossip website, God Hates Shrimpthat offers a sincere apology to black women about his latest escapades with all the white fembots that recently came out to the media.

In the message, he states -

"I would like to offer my sincere condolences to all the beautiful black women across America. In no way, would I ever deny you access to my VIP Lounge or Hotel room when I go on my sex benders. You are beautiful, amazing women that I would love to have a rendezvous with in the near future."

Woods, who has been seen canoodling with some of Reality TV's most potent D-listers, has potentially realized that he could have been tapping black tail as well.

Tiger Woods is the most marketable and well-liked athlete in the world. As someone who aspires to be precisely those same things in his adult recreational league, I realize the importance of differentiating poon across racial bounderies.

Tiger will surely come out of this a different man. Will he continue to listen to John Mayer, Jack Johnson and Rush? Sure. Will he continue to wear pleated Khakis? Yes. Will he he tap some stripper down in a Titty bar in Hotlanta? That remains to be seen.