This week the BCS announced that two non-BCS teams have qualified for the Fiesta Bowl. Although this may seem like a promising new horizion for the face of college football, let me warn you this is no more than a massive conspiracy created by Republican congressmen to suppress true champions of the gridiron.
Both Boise State and TCU have in fact been snubbed by a bunch of corn farming lobbyists who have been scared off by Donald Rumsfeld, fearing extensive water board torture at Guatanamo Bay. Oh sure their respective conferences will recieve handsome payouts for thier respective big-time bowl participation, but let us go a bit deeper beneath the surface to reveal the eventual outcome of this nonsense. Not only will both of these teams never get a chance at taking a crack at one of the "big boys", a feat that would clearly send the Obama cabinet into a frenzy, but more importantly one of these two teams will end the season with a loss.
This loss, although courageous and full of mighty effort will in fact doom the loosing program yet again next year. You see John McCain got a real scare last season with the Utah Utes proving that good coaching and a black quaterback who actually can throw will win you a few game win games. Now I know the conservative right wingers love to root for guys with names like John Park Wilson and Colt McCoy, but this scare put the ole' bluebloods on their heals. With a loss in this somewhat meaningless game, either Boise State or TCU will begin next season ranked too low to compete for the BCS championship game.
Perhaps my drunked rant will be viewed by those in the fly over states at hogwash and senseless liberal banter. Perhaps they will call me a narrow-minded east coast fool. Let me tell you one thing my friends, Bush fixed the election of 2000 and the Republicans have the nix in for the '09 champion.
Tune in next week when I write a 5 page article on why Danny Woodhead should be the starting running back for the NY Jets.
Like the new article format? Send us feedback!