Note: The quotes in this article are fictional .
Don't expect any being in the Michael Vick welcoming committee to be standing on four legs. Vick makes his return to Atlanta as a Philadelphia Eagle when the 7-4 Eagles face the 6-5 Falcons in a game both teams need in order to to stay firmly in the playoff hunt.
"Of course, dogs will be on everyone's minds because of Michael's situation," says Donovan McNabb. "But in Atlanta, the Southeast's strip club Mecca, dogs always take a back seat to 'puppies.' I'm sure Mike and I will buddy up and hit the hot night spots while introducing ourselves as 'Ron Mexico' and 'Don McMexico.'"
Injuries continue to mount for the Falcons. Michael Turner aggravated his right ankle injury, and Matt Ryan incurred a turf toe injury, has already been ruled out of Sunday's game, and may miss more time depending on the results of further examinations.
"And this little piggy went to see a specialist," says Ryan. "Turf toe has to be the most aggravating injury in football. It's probably just from overuse, because I've been stubbing my toe all year."
Vick is welcomed back to the Georgia Dome to the sounds of "The Woof is on Fire" from the public address system. Vick gets the last laugh, though, and marks his old territory with a seven-yard rushing touchdown in the second quarter. Eagles win, 23-20.