Across the country, athletic departments are fielding invites, rumors, conference calls, and—probably—scores of angry emails and horses' heads concerning what team goes where when in the postseason.
Yes, it's bowl season, that time when records matter half as much as fans, advertisers, and opportunities for uncontrollable consumption.
To help you wade through the immediate chaos, here's seven rumors to chew on about four of the major bowls and some of their likely candidates.
Check them out quick—there's sure to be another break in the story soon.
This one's a certainty, thanks to Ole Miss losing in the last week to rival Mississippi State.
The Rebels will return to where they surprised Texas Tech last year to face the Oklahoma State Cowboys.
Despite losing to Georgia and Kentucky and going below .500 in the SEC, Auburn will be playing in the Outback Bowl against the No. 3 Big Ten team on New Year's Day, according to a report from ai.com.
The Outback Bowl, which typically takes the third-best SEC team not in a BCS bowl, hasn't selected an SEC West team since Alabama faced Michigan on New Year's Day, 1997.
The news likely enraged Kentucky, Arkansas and Georgia fans. All three of those teams beat Auburn head-to-head and have the same records as the Tigers. Tennessee lost to Auburn but had a better overall SEC record, going 4-4 in conference.
The bowl representatives must have been encouraged by how close the Tigers played Alabama, because there really is no legitimate explanation. The Tigers are no more or less of a draw than the Volunteers, who are going through their own renaissance under fiery coach Lane Kiffin.
In fact, the Tigers, under cool-headed coach Gene Chizik, are, from a headline-generating standpoint, boring by comparison, and would likely be less of a draw to viewers and fans. This is an awful decision on their part.
For what it's worth, the Tigers will face Northwestern.
Now that Auburn got the invite to the Outback Bowl, the Vols will travel to Atlanta to compete in the Chick-Fil-A Bowl.
It's the next best bowl on the schedule for the SEC.
Kiffin, who was creating headlines for Tennessee all the way up until the kickoff of the conference championship, will hopefully drum up some excitement for the bowl, which is played on New Year's Eve.
If that means taking pot shots at Virginia Tech's Frank Beamer and how he's never won a game as an underdog, well, I'm sure he's not above that.
With the word on Bowden's retirement coming in, the Seminoles might really find themselves playing up now that the Gator Bowl has listened to Bowden's request to play his last game in Florida and scheduled the Seminoles to face West Virginia.
It's sure to be a tasteful, retrospective affair wherein Bowden's lengthy history as coach is recounted, including his days as an assistant West Virginia, so tune in if you enjoy blasts from the past.
Bowden rarely coaches nowadays and Bill Stewart only screws up when he does, so it could be a pretty chaotic game to boot.