North Carolina Tar Heels Named 2008-09 NCAA Champions

Matt Smith reports breaking news for the 2008-2009 NCAA basketball season, including the newly award national champions.

by Matt Smith (Columnist)

3

1232 reads

Humor

June 16, 2008

Humor, ACC Basketball, UNC Basketball, Satire, NCAA Basketball

In a strange turn of events, the NCAA Basketball committee has forfeited the 2008-09 season while declaring the North Carolina Tar Heels national champions.

This announcement was made just hours after Junior forward Danny Green and Sophomore guards Wayne Ellington and Tywon Lawson pulled their names out of the 2008 NBA draft.

"Well the decision was made pretty easily," stated NCAA president Myles Brand, "We didn't want the Heels to embarrass the all of the other teams in the NCAA, so we decided to forfeit everyone's season and give them the championship. We all know they're going to win it anyway."

Coach Williams, while still wearing his Kansas sticker, didn't fully agree with the president.

"We all know what can go dadgum wrong during the course of a season, but at least I finally won a championship with my own players!"

Without the upcoming basketball season, Seniors Bobby Frasor and National Player of the Year Tyler Hansbrough are rumored to be trying out for the school's diving team.

"Uh, its a whole lot better than jumping off ledges into tiny pools," said Hansbrough.

But in all honesty, this team will be loaded. Three deep at every position, returning their top six players from a 36-win team, and adding three McDonald's All-Americans, the Heels look to bring their fifth NCAA championship back to the Hill.

While every Carolina fan, including myself, believe that we will win a championship every year, 2008-09 looks like its shaping up very nicely.

Humor

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comments (3) write a comment »

  1. Hey Matt,
    Would you mind filling out my 2009 March Madness brackets? (Just the winners is fine, thanks!)

    ;)

  2. You can't really say a team is gonna win a couple months before the season even starts but who can beat these guys?

  3. Ha this is pretty funny! I could see it happening, though!

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About the Author Matt Smith (columnist)

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