The C.U.T.L.E.R. System

For those of you who don't watch the show "It's Always Sunny In Philadelphia" on FX, the "D.E.N.N.I.S System" is a patented method of how to get a girl to love you, and then completely break her heart. The C.U.T.L.E.R System is very similar to this, except it involves a city instead of a girl. Let us begin.

C—Create Hype

The first step is very critical. You have to create hype and lots of it. I still remember the day the Cutler deal went through; a game hadn't even been played yet and I still felt excited for the next 10 years. Finally, the Bears had a franchise QB. We no longer had to watch that incredibly long list of quarterbacks who have played for us the past 15 years every time we play the Packers. That list includes winners such as Chad Huchinson and Henry Burris. We had our QB, and we couldn't be happier. At least until "U" came into play...

U—Underachieve

To be fair, no one could have really lived up to the expectations that the city had for Cutler. But come on! Four picks! We traded away two first-rounders for a guy who threw four picks! Mind you, it wasn't all his fault; it's not like he was throwing to Brandon Marshall or Eddie Royal like he was last year, but even Rex Grossman thought that Cutler had a bad game. At this point, we could only hope that this was a one game anomaly and not a sign of things to come. And then "T" started to happen...

T—Tear Down Teammates

Cutler began to start openly yelling at teammates. After every incompletion, Cutler would be kind enough to let the receiver know it was his fault he didn't catch it. Once again, he isn't throwing to the best receivers in the league, but you could slowly start to see the them getting frustrated with him. He wasn't too open about his failures during post-game press conferences and generally didn't seem to care about playing poorly. This eventually turned to "L"...

L—Look Confused

Early in the season, Cutler would be visibly angry and show emotion on the field. As the season progressed, he slowly started to look more and more confused. After every pick, he would stare at the JumboTron with a confused look on his face. I think he learned this from Lovie Smith, who is the king of looking confused after a play doesn't go our way. But still, I would rather have a QB who shows some emotion than one who doesn't seem to care. This lack of caring leads to "E"...

E—Extinguish Hope

As the season unfolded, I slowly started to realize that we weren't going to make the playoffs. This realization was finalized with the five-pick game against the 'Niners. It was a painful reality. We are a worse football team than we were a year ago. It hurts even typing it right now. Without a first- or a second-round pick this year (thank you Gaines Adams), we are left without hope for this season and most likely even next season. This system is now ready for its final step...

R—Regress

Let's face it, Jay Cutler has regressed this season. He is a worse quarterback than he was this time last year. Now, we just have to hope that he eventually gets better. But, in the meantime, we as a city are left with nothing but anger for a QB we once loved.