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Cleveland Indians Featured Columnist

Casting "The Simpsons" with MLB Players

Lewie Pollis by Analyst Written on November 27, 2009
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For almost 20 years, Matt Groening's The Simpsons has been a cornerstone of American pop culture.

Even if the show has declined a bit in the last few years, it remains a gleaming bastion of wit and entertainment.

Here's what the show would look like if it were cast with Major League Baseball players.

Pablo Sandoval as Homer Simpson

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He's the star of his team, he's a lovable guy with a big heart, and he has Homer's paunch.

Miguel Cabrera as Bart Simpson

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Despite being a midseason call-up, he became a fan favorite as a rookie in 2003. He's a great player, but he also gets into some trouble.

Stephen Strasburg as Maggie Simpson

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Just a young kid, he's become a household name despite not having done anything yet.

Albert Pujols as Ned Flanders

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He's a devout Christian, everything he does is perfect, and other players are jealous of his talent.

Scott Boras as Apu Nahasapeemapetilon

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Trying to get $200 million for Matt Holliday is almost as bad as selling a two-ounce bag of chips for $5.99.

George Steinbrenner as C. Montgomery Burns

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He's a rich old man who buys whatever he wants. Steinbrenner would need to lose weight for the part.

Bill James as Professor Frink

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He's always inventing new statistics that people hate.

Bud Selig as Mayor Quimby

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Everybody hates him, and nobody seems to know why he's still in charge.

Tim Lincecum as Otto Mann

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He likes his marijuana. Lincecum was also considered for the role of Bart before his arrest.

Milton Bradley as Sideshow Bob

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Sometimes "respectful and humble" (former teammate Shawn Green), he is prone to violent bouts of craziness.

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