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Michael Oher may have a fancy movie starring the timeless Sandra Bullock (who's carving out her own cougar niche), but the real story is the Miami Dolphins' offensive line.
Against the Carolina Panthers, the Fins had more guys going down than a Jacques Cousteau production and still came out smelling like roses. Good O-Line play has been one of the more consistent facets of Miami's season.
The Dolphins went out and spent some serious dollars on their line in the offseason, and even though there's been some injuries recently, it's been money well spent.
Taking my cues from the so-called "Porkquistador" that is Peter King, I took him up on his plug for the web site Pro Football Focus . On said site, the folks in charge take time out of their busy day to rank all players for every position.
And as I'm an amateur rankologist (a phrase so lacking in cleverness that it took a man of my IQ to coin it), I took it upon myself to check out Miami's big men.
The Fins boast two offensive linemen in the top five of Pro Football Focus' rankings. Vernon Carey is ranked at No.3 at tackle, and Jake Long isn't too far behind at No. 12. Considering the Fins used two first round draft picks on their tackles, it's good to see it's been worth it (according to PFF anyways). First round picks panning out? Get outta town!
Jake Grove (who got banged up in Thursday's game) is listed as the No. 3 center as well. It's only in the guard spot that Miami falls short, as Justin Smiley and Donald Thomas (Miami's projected starters) are the 39 and 42 ranked guards.
Fortunately, the real proof is in the pudding, delicious, nutritious, and Bill Cosby-endorsed, pudding.
Despite Ronnie Brown's absence, Miami will need to continue getting production from their run game; and that's spearheaded by the offensive line. Not counting Thursday's brouhaha against the Panthers (where Ricky Williams still rushed for 119 yards and three touchdowns) the Fins are averaging 156.2 yards a game on the ground (fourth in the NFL).
The run game is in good hands. Tony Sparano is an offensive line guy, and his guys on the offensive line are clearly flourishing in Tony Sparano's offense.
A shortcoming you could point to is the Fins pass protection. It hasn't been stellar, as Miami has allowed 23 sacks, making them 25th in the NFL in protecting the passer. The silver lining is that they've only allowed 35 hits on their quarterback total, which means that their pivots are usually being hit for sacks, and not constantly harangued by opponents.
Another positive is that against the Panthers the Fins allowed zero sacks, despite being in a game where they were shuffling linemen in and out all night. Even though they were facing the ghost of Julius Peppers, it's still something.
It's no secret that Miami cherishes protecting the football and controlling the clock. As a matter of fact, I'm sure that Tony Sparano has it tattooed on his body like that guy from Prison Break. With this offensive line it's been a dream fulfilled. They're good, is probably what you can glean from this spiel.
The most satisfying part is that teams like to think of Miami as a finesse squad. Using the Wildcat is still viewed as a soft way to get yards.
Um, nah.
Actually, it's hard-nosed football that has been giving opponents trouble all year. It's like throwing a dress on Smokin' Joe Frazier (IT'S A METAPHOR, DON'T HURT ME JOE). He may look soft, but he'll still sock you in the mouth and keep coming forward.
That's Miami, Smokin' Joe in a dress. For all the frills they may present, when you cut through the wrinkles they're a steamroller with half a mind to rape and pillage every city they're in.
Let the word go forth: These cross-dressers are not to be toyed with.
There's probably a better word I could put forth but I'm not much for recanting. This season has been a war from Day One, but the Fins have the right men in the trenches.
For more reasons I need to catch a beating, go check out The Chirp Show . It's where jerks go to hide behind a transparent veil of jerkdom.
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