Barnavicious XCorrespondent INovember 19, 2009

First, a bit of essential pondering to the most pressing of dilemmas.

1."Bruce Gradkowski" kinda rhymes with "Juice Mad Cow Disease." 

2. What's my favorite JaMarcus nickname? "JaWaffle Housell", also kinda fond of "Fat Lazy Rich Guy" and "The Fat Bomber."

3. When a Charger Fan calls you a "fag" are they complimenting you or coming on to you?

4. Why couldn't they test Bowe for steroids last week?

5. "WildHog" is it Tom?

In honor of the gay community I've posted the dreamiest picture I could find of my pick for QB twenty ten.

Without further ado let yet another QB debate begin in Oaktown.

Because this is my article I will start with my pick for QB and begin this sentence with a conjunction. 

Colt Brennan. 

Does Samson Satele speak Samoan? From the Hawaii line of scrimmage Colt Brennan called plays in Samoan; what could be more perfect than that? For those of you who don't know much about this guy, here are some links for your education. 



I don't want to hear any BS about what collegiate division he played in, Al Micheals said it best "This kid has IT."

We already know he looks good in silver and black, his accuracy and improvisation can one day rival Rich Gannon and he's got Stabler's on-field moxie.

Brennan has never been given a real shot; backed up Leinart in Highschool, walked on to Colorado, the "fondling" incident, Saddleback JC and walked onto Hawaii completing is career with 146 touchdowns and 30 NCAA records.

How's he doing in the NFL?

Colt finished the 2008 pre-season better than all rookies. His completion percentage was 67.9% with 3 touchdowns, no interceptions and a QB rating of 109.9.


He is currently rumored to be dating Jessica Simpson.

How do the Raiders get Colt in Silver and Black?

Colt Brennan is currently in Redskin purgatory. The Redskins placed Brennan on IR for the 2009 season; this was our greatest blessing.

Had he not been on IR he would undoubtedly be the current Redskins starter. As fate would have it, the Redskins have suffered through a miserable season (much like ours in Raiderland) with most of the blame being placed on the QB situation. How does this play out for us?

Dan Snyder will absolutely go after a bluechip QB in this draft not realizing he has a future superstar on his team already. Second, a new Redskins coach will want to put his stamp on the team, beginning with a new QB and face for the franchise. 

Redskins will likely finish up with a slightly better record than the Raiders, leaving them a few spots further down in the draft. The Rams, Browns, Seahawks and Bills all need quarterbacks and the Redskins are likely to draft after these teams. With only four real rookie options this leaves the Redskins odd man out. Enter the Oakland Raiders.

We swap spots with them in exchange for Colt and a second rounder. Boom the deal is done. Brennan is Al's kind of guy. Championship.

So, in all likelihood my fantasy doesn't actually come true, what are the other realistic options and how could they play out? (in no particular order)

JaMarcus Russell

Getting benched finally penetrates his chubby exterior and JR spends the entire off season working to reclaim his starting role and earning the respect of his teammates and fans. He also sells his stock Fatburger and joins PETA. I have been a loyal supporter of JR and still hope for his turnaround. 

Bruce Gradkowski

The other Kowski will need to be unstoppable the last games of the season. He'll need to put up at least 4 or 5 wins to earn the job. For Bruce we trust.

Charlie Frye

Grad will need to go down in flames or an injury for Frye to get a shot this season. He might be the best QB on our roster, I'd like to seem him get a fair shot at starting. 

Michael Vick

As much as I don't like it, Al could bring him in, especially if Cable is still around. Unlikely though unless Russell is unloaded somehow. 

Brooks Bollinger

Really, I wrote Brooks Bollinger? Go Tuskers.

Chad Pennington

If Chad recovers he's could be just the kind of leader we need but I don't think Al will like his noodle arm.

Jason Campbell

No Al, dammit, the other Redskins QB.

David Carr

Don't like this one. Just can't see him as a Raider. He holds the ball too long and behind our O-line he wouldn't stand a chance. He'll probably stay parked in NY. (sorry couldn't resist)

Marc Bulger

This is my number 2. Rams will likely draft a QB and Bulger has no interest in being a back up. He also demands a larger contract which the Rams can't afford with a big rookie deal. Money would also likely rule him out with JR still on the roster. 

Derek Anderson

Why not, he might make JaMarcus look better. He's had one good season and they traded away every good weapon he had

Kerry Collins

Al mentioned last year he regretting getting rid of him and with VY back Collins could be on the move. Having said that, I will shave my head and hang out in airports if this happens. 

Honorable Mentions

Charlie Whitehurst, Mark Brunell, Jeff George, Joey Harrington.

Either way I wish Juicy Brucey the best this weekend, in the words of JaMarcus Russell....

"you gonna eat that?"

----and no I'm not gay. 


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