Fads In Football: The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly

Just who was the guy who thought of this? You see it every game, and frankly, it's boring. Can someone come up with a more original sign? Oh wait—why bother? The TV crews always show the two guys with the signs and reward them with their fifteen seconds of fame.

Now I get it. I'll be making my "Sports Center is next" sign shortly.

3. Wearing offensive shirts or no shirts

Can we all agree that fans who wear shirts like "#$%& da Eagles" are probably hammered out of their minds? What's even worse, the TV cameramen aren't paying attention when they scan the crowds with their cameras.

Then there are the guys who wear no shirts at all in freezing weather. Hey, if you had killer bods, I wouldn't mind. But when your beer bellies are hanging over your shorts, I have to assume you are staying warm due to your body fat or alcohol consumption—not machismo—and in either case, it's not that impressive. Trust me.

4. The bad fan

An alarming trend is the fan who pays major bucks to attend a game and then proceeds to bad-mouth "his team" for three consecutive hours. It causes a lot of fans to want to stuff his mouth with batteries and throw him in a lake. He has a right to cheer for his team, but bad-mouth them? Yeah, he has that right, and he's a real problem, especially for season-ticket holders.

Just why would someone pay all that money to rip their own team? (Maybe he's really for the other team but doesn't want to get harassed for that?)

5. No umbrellas in stadium

How would you like to be a fan in a rainy state and not be allowed to bring umbrellas? I have sat in the stands with umbrellas in front of me and it doesn't block my vision. Yes, they could be viewed as a potential weapon, but for Pete's sake, we should be able to sit in a dry seat.

The Ugly

1. Jets' Gate D

This goes to the top of the list as a real ugly fad. Halftime at a Jets game has taken on a whole new meaning if you are a female fan. The guys gather and heckle, cajole, and even assault women at gate D—all to see if she will "flash them her ta-tas." Unsuspecting women have been shocked at this behavior, and many have had beer flung at them if they don't flash.

Of course, the reason why this whole thing started was because somewhere, somehow, a female fan probably did comply with the heckling. Many still do. But the fact that security does nothing about this behavior is disturbing. It must really suck to be a Jets fan when Gate D is more entertaining than your team.

2. Elimination of card stunts

A fad that probably got thrown to the wayside due to fans possibly getting hurt when the cards are thrown in the air after halftime. Can't they use flimsy plastic? It was a great way to entertain the opposing team's fans with some serious smack and, at the same time, keep some students away from the beer stands who have probably had too much to drink anyway.

3. Eye black

What was once something used to diminish the glare of the sun has now become a fashion statement. Area codes, flags, and other subliminal messages are now adorning the players' faces—and it's really ridiculous. Expressing individuality on a team is not what college football is all about. Save it for if you get to play on Sundays, or better yet, use visors or shades.

4. Bench seat crashers

Can we be honest here? Our nation is getting fatter and fatter, and the bench seats have now become a real problem. How many times have you sat next to a rather large person who has spilled into your "seat"? Even worse, how many times has a parent brought a small child (free admission if he sits on the parent's lap) to the game who is taking up space on the bench?

The freeloaders (friends who stop by to say hi) are also squeezing in on the action, while season ticket holders are feeling the pinch. Football fans paid for their seats and ought to be able to sit in them.

Special mention... It's not a football fad, but nevertheless needs to be mentioned. At Coors Field, home of the Rockies, they serve Rocky Mountain Oysters. They are calf testicles split in half and then pan-fried. Yuck.

Find me a guy who eats these and I'll show you a guy who will not "get lucky" with his date.

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