The Top-10 Reasons Jay Cutler Threw Five Interceptions This Week
10. - He made a bar bet Wednesday night that he could pull a Mark Sanchez
9. - He saw himself on the jumbotron and thought it was a mirror
8. - He skipped practice all week to work on his memoirs: "A Cut(ler) Above The Rest: Why I Rule and You Suck"
7. - He wanted a place in the Bears' record books and knew it wasn’t going to be for touchdowns, yards thrown, games won, playoff appearances or anything related to "not failing"
6. - He thought it was "Talk Like a Pirate Day" and the receivers didn’t understand his playcalls of "Arr ye bloomin’ deck monkeys! Scallywags to the port! Rapscallions to starboard! Avast! Scallywag, scallywag, treasure treasure YARR!"
5. - He got confused by the Bears play called "SHUT UP AND THROW TO OLSEN"
4. - He bet the Bears offensive line $200 that he "didn’t need them to win"
3. - He hired a new life strategist who told him his TD/INT ratio was "out of balance"
2. - He was using the San Fran D/ST in Fantasy Football this week
And the number 1 reason Jay Cutler threw five interceptions this week...
1. - He replaced the playbook on his arm with a copy of his new contract
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