Mr. Roger Goodell
National Football League
280 Park Avenue
New York, NY 10017
When this season began, you fined me—personally—half a million dollars. You fined my team, the New England Patriots, an additional quarter-million.
You fined us for allegedly stealing defensive signals from the coaches of the New York Jets—the team, by the way, with which you had your first NFL job.
You, who were raised in the state of New York by your father, a former United States Senator from the state of New York.
Then, in the following weeks, you opted to fine two of our players, Mike Vrabel and Vince Wilfork, $5,000 each for rolling onto opposing players' legs, even though videotape of both incidents proved that players from opposing teams caused these events to happen.
Now, you have fined two more of our players, Tom Brady and Mike Vrabel, TWICE, for playing with unbuckled chinstraps. The finals totaled $5,000 for the first offenses and $7,500 for the second offenses.
That being the case, Mr. Commissioner—and seeing as you appear to have a typical New York vendetta against our New England team—I would like to inform you of the following:
Thus far, the Patriots have scored 230 points in our first six games, for an average of 38 points per game.
Please be advised that, in a few of those games, I could have told my players to go easy, and not to score as many late fourth-quarter points as we did.
But, I opted not to—and the reason, Mr. Commissioner, was to tell you to stick your fines, and your punishments, up your New York-bred ass.
I will continue to do the same for all 16 games this season, and any postseason games we might participate in.
This is to show you how misguided your attempts at discipline were, and to prove that we, the Patriots, don't need any stinking video tapes to score as many points, in any game, as we want to score.
Thank you for giving me, and every player on this team, the opportunity to tell you to go (enter your own word here) yourself.
New England Patriots
Author's Note: The letter above was NOT written by Bill Belichick, and the author of this article cannot verify why in fact the Pats are scoring as many points as they possibly can.
However, it IS my opinion that Coach Belichick will continue to score excessive points towards the end of each game, as he has done in every contest this season, in order to prove a point to the Commissioner.
Can I prove this? Hell NO, I can't. But, I would say it's a very good possibility...