MLB: The All-Junk Team

3B: Miguel Cabrera, Tigers

Are you kidding, Miguel?  I know, you’re still only 25 years old, but come on.  You have had four straight seasons of 110+ RBI and are a surefire 30 homers each year.  You’re basically destined for Cooperstown. 

And then you get traded to Detroit, receive a fat contract for over $150 million and play for a team that looks like the rebirth of the ’27 Yankees, only to give us eight bombs and 38 RBI through 63 games?  Time to step it up, bro.  No All-Star Game for you, that’s for sure.  And probably not for any of your Tigers friends either.

Runner Up: Ryan Zimmerman, Nationals

OF: Andruw Jones, Dodgers

Usually it takes three outfielders to field a team.  But when you have one

stink-bomb as big as Andruw, there isn’t enough room for two others. After signing a $36.2 million, two-year deal before this season to anchor centerfield and give some pop to a stale Dodger lineup, Jones crapped this season out.  It was ugly from the get-go and just when you thought it couldn’t get worse, it did.  He landed on the disabled list. 

Clearly, his swing has been disabled for two seasons, but the Dodgers failed to notice.  He swings too hard and has never been a contact hitter.  His line this year: 43 games, .165 avg., 2 HR, 7 RBI, $18.1 million.  Talk about throwing money away.

Runners Up: Nick Swisher, White Sox; Eric Byrnes, D-Backs

SP: Dontrelle Willis, Tigers

One half of the duo that was believed to bring a World Series title to Detroit has completely flamed out.  Willis has lost all control of every pitch, has no velocity on any of them, and now finds himself the richest minor-leaguer in all the land. 

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