Monday Night Football. It’s finally here. Prime time. The eyes of millions are watching.  My two modest eyes are watching as well. This is what transpired.

 

 

Pregame

 

Do-do do doooo…dododo, dododo…do-do do do dooooo……do-do do do-do do doooo…baam, baaam, baaaam, baaam, baaaaaaaaaaaaaam…….do-do do-do dooo!

 

Welcome to a prime time running diary of one of the better Monday night matchups of 2009 thus far. As always, I must thank the great Bill Simmons for inventing this writing style.

 

(By the way, that mishmash above is a written interpretation of the Monday Night Football theme song. It works better if you sing it.)

 

Tonight’s game is a huge, huge showdown between the 6-1 Broncos and the 5-2 Steelers. The winner will have the inside track to one of the top seeds in the AFC. The loser will face an uphill battle in what is shaping up to be a tight and competitive playoff race.

 

Denver is coming off of their worst game of the season; Pittsburgh is coming off of their most impressive win. Pittsburgh is 11-1 in prime time and 4-0 on Monday nights under Mike Tomlin. Denver is 7-2-1 all-time at home against Pittsburgh in the regular season.  In the words of Myron Cope, “Deck the Broncos, they’re just Yonkos…”

 

 

First Quarter

 

15:00 Denver comes out in their orange uniforms tonight, not the orange of John Elway and Bobby Humphrey, but the modern (meaning ugly) orange jerseys, a variation of their normal ugly jerseys. At least they’re not wearing this .

 

14:55  Kyle Orton is 18-2 as a starter at home in his career. Wonder what Jay Cutler’s home record is? Meanwhile, Mike Tirico notes that there are “a lot of orange pom-pom’s, but wait: I see a lot of Terrible Towels.” Hey Denver—nice pop-pom’s!

 

12:58 Casey Hampton is already winded, not good news considering the defensive line is already missing Aaron Smith and Travis Kirschke. The Steelers are also without Lawrence Timmons and—as you may have heard in the news at some point over the past two weeks—Ryan Clark.

 

10:24 Orton starts off hot, completing his first four. William Gay and Troy Polamalu converge to force a third-down incompletion, which halts the drive. Denver kicker Matt Prater splits the uprights on a 42-yard field goal. Josh McDaniels then flashes the least-manly thumbs-up in modern history. 3-0, Bad Guys.

 

7:54  Ben Roethlisberger is sacked by Elvis Dumerville his 11^th of the season. He’s nearly on pace to tie Michael Strahan’s single-season sack record of 22.5. It’s too bad Denver’s last game isn’t against Brett Favre and the Vikes.

 

5:17 Orton looks very sharp and is 7-for-8 for 81 yards so far. It could be because he’s wearing Jake Plummer’s old beard, chinstrap, and wristbands. 

 

3:12  Mitch Berger, freshly signed last week to “get better directional kicking” (Tirico’s words, not mine) punts one in the end zone. Maybe next week Denver will sign Paul Ernster.

 

1:47  For the first time in ages, the Steelers O-line perfectly picks up a blitz. Unfortunately, one play later they revert back to normal, as Roethlisberger takes another sack, his 214^th since 2004, and yes, that leads the NFL. Meanwhile, the announcing crew is locked in a vigorous competition for the No. 1 spot in the Ty Law Fan Club. Gruden has the early lead.

 

 

Second Quarter

 

12:50 Tyrone Carter!!! Clark’s replacement at safety picks off an errant throw and takes it back 48 yards for the touchdown. I wonder if the Denver guy was supposed to run his route directly into the referee.  It’s only Orton’s second pick of the year, and it was even uglier than his beard. 7-3, Good Guys.

 

9:20 Orton looks slightly rattled but still makes two perfect throws on consecutive third downs to keep the Broncos moving. This is a surprisingly solid offense, although they cannot run the ball anywhere today.

 

7:40 Denver loses a challenge and subsequently converts a 4^th -and-5. Ballsy call there by Daniel McDaniel. It’s all for naught, however, as James Harrison draws a hold, as he does on pretty much every play. This one was spotted by the refs and appropriately flagged.

 

7:05  27-yard punt by Berger. Boos rain down from Mile High Invesco Stadium at Mile High Field, or whatever it’s called. It’s unclear if the boos are coming from Broncos or Steelers fans. Probably a little of both.

 

5:37 first-down machine Mike Wallace makes his first catch of the day, but the drive stalls later when the Broncos bring their relentless pressure. I gotta say, this defense is impressive. The front seven is tough against the run and the pass, and Brian Dawkins makes plays all over the field.

 

2:33  From Gruden: “I’ve never seen more Terrible Towels than I did over there in Iraq.” Steelers fans plans for world domination are slowly coming to fruition.

 

0:18  Rookie defensive back Joe Burnett gets pushed into Berger on a punt, and there’s another penalty—on Limas Sweed of all people, and … let’s just all go into the locker room.

 

 

****Halftime Festivities****

 

 

Third Quarter

 

13:28 Rashard Mendenhall is not getting enough carries tonight. Roethlisberger executes a nice play-action and finds Ward, as the Steelers cross the 50-yard line for the first time all night. 

 

11:16 The Broncos answer Pittsburgh’s defensive touchdown with one of their own.  Kenny Peterson strips Big Ben, and rookie Robert Ayers scoops it up and goes 54 yards for the score. Daniel McJosh is fired up. 10-7, Yonkos.

 

9:09  Four plays, 80 yards, 2:07. That is called a response. Wallace for 18 yards, Mendenhall for 24, Holmes for 35, Ward with a slick three-yard TD catch. Unquestionably Pittsburgh’s best drive of the season. “They made the Steelers mad, it looks like,” says Gruden. Yes they did. 14-10, Black ‘N’ Gold.

 

7:20 Berger puts a punt down inside the 5-yard line for the first time since the late-1990s. Sepulveda is not impressed.

 

6:31  Heeeeeaaaath….

 

2:26  Mendenhall closing in on 100 yards. Roethlisberger performing surgery on the No. 1 defense in the NFL. Receivers making plays all over the field. And … killer interception by Andre Goodman at the goal line. Huge play. Hyuuge play.

 

0:18 Ike Taylor and Ryan Mundy combine for a big third-down tackle on Brandon Stokley. That may turn out to be an underrated big play. Stay tuned.

 

 

Fourth Quarter

 

13:09 Jeff Reed should take tackling lessons from Daniel Sepulveda.

 

12:04 Tirico: “That is an awful kick.” Guess who was punting? Hint: It wasn’t Sepulveda.

 

10:04  Mendenhall is now up to 104 yards on only 15 carries. The end is near for the Age of Willie Parker. Meanwhile, the Steelers drive stalls as Roethlisberger misfires on two straight passes. Also, there’s been a Limas Sweed spotting. Talk about a dramatic game.

 

8:33 Polamalu with two fine plays in a row: He blitzed and stopped Correll Buckhalter in his tracks in the backfield, and on the next play he picked off an errant Orton pass. On the ensuing series, Dawkins answers with an equally impressive play in the backfield.

 

7:03  Roethlisberger side-steps the blitz as if it were a crack in the sidewalk and fires a strike to Mike Wallace for a touchdown. Fabulous play by Big Ben there. You would think teams would learn not to blitz him on third down. You would think. 21-10, Good Guys.

 

6:30  An ugly three-and-out for Denver that even included a fumble by Orton (which was eventually ruled an incomplete pass). Mewelde Moore had a smooth punt return called back on a flag. Time for Mendenhall to put this one out of reach.

 

3:47  Tick, tick, tick…

 

2:00  Tirico: “Invesco at Mile High sounds like Hienz Field.” Ward caps off what may be Pittsburgh’s best drive of the season with another touchdown catch in which he hurdled Champ Bailey on his way into the end zone.

 

0:15 Carter ends the carnage with another pick. It’s Orton’s third of the night, tripling his season total. Tremendous win for the Steelers. A statement game if there ever was one, dominating on the road with four starters missing. 28-10, Champs. Bring on the Bengals.

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