Al Davis a Zombie? (Satire)

Erik SpanglerContributor INovember 9, 2009

As it stands, the Oakland Raiders are not faring too well this season. Constant speculation has had to do with who will be the next coach, will Al Davis relinquish control of the team, and when will we win again.

As a Raider fan, it's easy to be discouraged and sit back, watching the team self-destruct. But I say, let us point out the problems over and over again, and hope that, eventually, someone does something about it.

If any woman can come forward and say that Tom Cable struck them, and he in turn gets suspended, then why not do the same thing with Al Davis?

Does the league not have it expressly written that no zombie, be he coherent or incoherent, may serve as an owner to any NFL franchise?

Much to my dismay, I have not seen the NFL's policy on zombies, but remain certain that Al Davis is certainly beyond the limitations and provisions contained within. Just look at the above photo.

No living human being can possibly attain that flesh-starved demonic look. That alone practically proves that Davis is indeed a Zombie.

I vote that, constituent to NFL policy, Al Davis is removed from ownership henceforth and forever.

Oh yeah, and bench that JaMountain Fatroll character too...