Chicago Cubs

Sammy Sosa to Haunt Hall of Fame Until Gaining Entry (Satire)

LAS VEGAS - NOVEMBER 04:  Former baseball player Sammy Sosa (R) and guest arrives at the 2009 Person Of The Year Honoring Juan Gabriel held at Mandalay Bay Resort & Casino on November 4, 2009 in Las Vegas, Nevada.  (Photo by Kevork Djansezian/Getty Images)
Kevork Djansezian/Getty Images
Chris MurphyAnalyst INovember 9, 2009

Sammy Sosa has decided to bleech his skin in honor of the recently deceased, but still talked about over and over again, Michael Jackson.

Sosa immediately denounced that this was an odd reaction to any of the "Flinstone vitamins" he took during his home run days.  

"I must first and foremost say my skin color is not due to the steroids I took for so many years," Sosa said.  "I was hoping as a white man, I'd have a better shot at the Hall of Fame."

After the comment, Sosa consulted his translator only to forget how to speak English all over again.  The only words he remembered were "Pepsi", "It's so real", and "Hall of Fame".

When asked if his Michael Jackson dedication meant he'd be pursuing the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame as well, Sosa remembered English again and had this to say: 

"I think I deserve to be in the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame even though I do not play my own instruments, write my lyrics, and I lipsync."

Sosa claimed with his new skin that he would be haunting both the baseball and Rock and Roll Hall of Fames until gaining entry to both.

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