Leave Philly Alone! Top Five Reasons To Ease Up On the Sixers
And how flipping dare anyone out there make of the Sixers after all they’ve been through!
They traded away their franchise player, their only scoring big-man is always injured, their team president turned out to be incompetent and a buffoon and now they’re getting pushed to the end of the Eastern Conference.
….Oh, I’m sorry, did you expect Harrison to be writing this piece? Well, he’s not well right now! So I’ll be stepping in for him, here are my top five reasons to LEAVE THE SIXERS ALONE.
1) Defense? What’s That?
Only twice in five games have the Sixers held their opponent to under 97 points! The two teams they did hold under 100 were the Bucks and the Nets, and they almost lost to the Nets.
Who almost loses to the Nets? Before facing the Sixers the Nets hadn't even been within 10 points of their opponents by the end of the game.
It's like the Sixers don’t know what they’re doing out there. They’re just getting abused inside defensively and looking out of place in halfcourt offensive settings, but what’s wrong with that?
All you people care about is contested shots and rebounding, but that’s really hard to do.
What you don’t realize is that the Sixers have very little size in their rotation, and they’re trying their best but because every elite team in today’s league has a frontcourt that can score, the Sixers are just overmatched.
It's been said that offense sells tickets but defense wins Championships.
Speaking of defense, since when is it easy to play defense when you’re always matching up against a guy a couple of inches taller and 10 pounds heavier?
2) All-Stars? All-Stars? Don’t Talk To Me About All-Stars? All-Stars?!
LEAVE ANDRE IGUODALA ALONE!
…And leave Thaddeus Young alone, too.
Everyone’s always talking about how those two are going to become all-stars, and you’re putting way too much pressure on them.
You’re lucky they’re even going out and earning millions of dollars to play for you BASTARDS. They’re both solid but they don’t get much attention because the Sixers aren’t competing right now.
The all-star game isn’t about stats or contributions its about popularity. Why do you think that Mo Williams got his first all-star selection last year? All he did was get the scraps LeBron James left him with by shooting open jumpers.
3) The Philadelphia...Clippers?
Bring the real Sixers logo back, RIGHT NOW! I mean it!
At least before the Sixers looked good while they were losing. Now they look flat and generic. Does anyone really care that these are the jerseys that the Sixers won their last Championship in back in ‘83?
It's like the Sixers are just doing things for the sake of getting attention, even though they’re getting nothing but negative feedback from everyone around them.
Even though their every move makes them less favored in public opinion and their losing fans quickly because of it, its almost like they don’t care as long as they get to satisfy their impulsiveness.
That’s just pathetic. Do you know anyone like that?
4) Those Damned Celtics (and their fans)
Boston signed two flipping Hall of Fame free agents in one offseason. Is it any wonder that they’re doing so well?
Sure, they’re arrogant, haughty, and sometimes dirty, but all you people do is talk a bunch of crap about them…and their bandwagon fans.
What you’re forgetting is that before Ray Allen and Kevin Garnett, the Celtics haven’t been relevant in years.
Of course the Celtics’ fan base has suddenly tripled. Why would that be suspicious? The Celtics’ jerseys are green for a reason and that’s because all you people do is envy envy envy envy!
Why would you want your franchise player to be a guy like Paul Pierce, who wins a Championship only after being supported by an all-star cast but then starts calling himself “the best player” in the league immediately afterward?
I mean someone oughtta stab the guy or something.
5) On Second Thought, DON’T Leave the Sixers Alone!
Harrison’s having a hard time.
His reads have gone done over 70 percent since he started covering the Sixers because they aren’t winning games.
Its kind of upsetting because all a guy has to do is write the words LeBron James in a headline and it doesn’t matter if the article is an erotic novel starring Rosie O’Donnell it's still going to get over a thousand reads!
Where's the justice in that?
Harrison loves the Sixers and all he wants is for his readers to have a good time.
There may not be hall of fame talent on the Sixers team right now, but can’t you just pretend like there is?
DON’T LEAVE THE SIXERS ALONE!