10 Reasons NOT to Watch Alabama-LSU

Contributor Written on November 05, 2009

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As we approach another Saturday of college football, all eyes seemed to be turned towards one game: LSU @ Alabama.

But amidst all of the conversation surrounding this match up, you may have noticed something that no one seemed to be talking about, even though it was staring at them right in their beautiful faces, right in their beautiful eyes. I am of course referring to why NOBODY should watch this game.

And since no one else will do it, I will. Here are the 10 reasons absolutely NO ONE should watch the upcoming game between Alabama and LSU.

Reason #1: We Know Alabama will Win

By now everyone should know that Alabama will win this game. All the evidence you need can be found in the article "LSU at Alabama, NCAA Week 10... Preview", written by my esteemed colleague, Sachin Shukla.

And I quote : "...but what is certain Alabama will win by a touchdown or more."

How boring to watch a game that you already know the outcome of.

Reason #2: No Tim Tebow

This one is so obvious it is just ridiculous.

A recent poll showed that tons of people watch college football just to get the usual thrill of watching Tim Tebow.

He isn't a bad football player either.

Reason #3: All the Other Games

How come out of the 50 games that will transpire Saturday, only one gets attention?

When viewed in this perspective, the game seems a lot less important, doesn't it. And do you spend time on unimportant things? No? Then why watch this game? This game has zero meaning.

Match, case, set.

Reason #4: It's Just a Silly Game!!!

How many games do you need in your life? You already have video games, board games, tag, and other sports games.

How many football games have you watched? How many do you need to satisfy your hunger for football?

I have news for you. College football is going to be going on forever. Literally.

Get a life. I have one.

Reason #5: No Tim Tebow

This one is so important I thought I should mention it twice.

Reason #6: They Aren't Listening

They still have not adopted any of my 8 suggestions for making college football more peaceful.

http://bleacherreport.com/articles/282560-college-football-10-peaceful-solutions

Reason #7: It Isn't Cool

Ever since they decided to make those stupid helmets that cover up the players face, college football has been, like, way last century.

Next they will probably make the players wear baggy clothes so we can't see their defined forms.

Reason #8: Dirty Dancing

At 3:30 p.m. on Saturday, the same time that the LSU-Alabama game will start, Dirty Dancing will run on ABC-Family.

Who would possibly watch a stupid football game over Patrick Swayze's hottest movie?

That's It

Those are my 9 reasons not to watch the Alabama-LSU game. Thanks for reading.

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written on November 05, 2009 Opinion

Bleacher Report has a featured columnist opening for Florida Gators Football.

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