A Slight for Hawkeyes: Why Iowa is the Worst 9-0 Team in the History of Sports

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Okay, these Big Ten fans are getting annoying now. Especially the Iowa fans.

When has Iowa ever done anything of relevance in college football? You want to throw Nile Kinnick into the equation? He played his high school football in Nebraska. You’re welcome.

Computers are keeping Iowa in the national title hunt because any human that watches Iowa actually play realizes how shockingly bad the Hawkeyes are.

This reason is the very reason why computers in the BCS need to be trashed. All fans and casual observers have is the ability to watch a team play with their own two eyes.

Here is Iowa's only argument: a victory over Penn State on the road in a game that just happened to be nationally televised on ABC, and what else? Because the sportswriters and coaches put Penn State too high in the rankings to begin with means we are supposed to be impressed? It is like saying a victory over Ole Miss (ranked in the top ten in the preseason but now 5-3 overall) matters.

What has Iowa really done? Chirp, chirp, chirp… hearing nothing but crickets.

A one-point victory over Football Championship Subdivision foe Northern Iowa, 17-16 (5-3 overall in the division formerly known as Division 1-AA). Wow. What a victory over a team that might not make the FCS playoffs.

Iowa beat Arizona. Big deal. Arizona (6-2 overall, 3-1 in the Pac-10 including a loss to 3-5 Washington) is making a living off a horrible Pac-10. Somebody has to be in the top 25, right?

An enthralling three-point triumph over national powerhouse Arkansas State (2-5 overall, 1-2 in the Sun Belt) was the victory heard around the world.

Then, a two-point win at home over the train wreck known as Michigan (5-4 overall, 1-4 in the Little 11). And to display how much of a joke Iowa is, the fans rushed the field and tore down the goalposts after a win against a team not ranked in the Top 25.

Then a two-point win over Michigan State (4-5 overall, 3-3 in the Little 11) was proof of how good these Hawkeyes can really be. And the next week, an emotional come-from-behind victory over the best college football program ever, those mighty Indiana Hoosiers (4-5 overall, 1-4 in the Little 11).

The Big Ten is the Little 11 if you missed the hidden messages. You can’t count your teams, so you might need help with this.  The crayons are out.

Iowa quarterback Ricky Stanzi has been dazzling this season for the Hawkeyes. Put him in a class right along with Florida’s Tim Tebow, a healthy Oklahoma quarterback Sam Bradford, and Texas’ Colt McCoy. Stanzi has almost as many interceptions as touchdown passes (14 TD’s, 13 INT’s) in 2009.

Against Penn State, Stanzi was the difference. The junior blasted Penn State’s defense for 135 yards with pinpoint accuracy, going 11-of-26 through the air to include no touchdowns and two interceptions. Iowa scored one offensive touchdown in the landmark victory.

Stanzi only threw five picks in the victory over Indiana on Halloween. He completed 50 percent of his passes, but managed to throw for 337 yards and two touchdowns. Hand him the Heisman now.

Give Stanzi some credit. Stanzi made two big throws when the Hawkeyes need him most against Indiana. His 92-yard strike to Marvin McNutt and then Stanzi followed it up with a 66-yard laser to Derrell Johnson-Koulianos to put his team in the lead for good.

Iowa is ranked sixth in the USA Today poll behind TCU and Boise State, and eighth in the Associated Press poll even behind one-loss Oregon. Anybody with eyes knows these Hawkeyes are a fraud.

If you want to throw history into the equation, come on with it. Iowa has won only five Big Ten titles since 1960, losing at least two games in each season. In 1990, Iowa won the conference with an 8-4 mark.

Realistically put the BCS conference thing aside for a minute. How can you tell somebody with a straight face that Iowa has better BCS credentials than Boise State, TCU, or Cincinnati?

A week after dismantling Penn State this Saturday, Ohio State hosts Iowa with the Big Ten all to play for. Ohio State will beat Iowa by at least three touchdowns, putting this whole Iowa-to-the-BCS nonsense aside for good.  That is IF Iowa can beat Northwestern.

If you need help figuring out which of these points were sarcastic and which were real points, you need serious help.

Iowa is deplorable and is not worthy of a January bowl game, let alone the BCS. There are 40 teams in college football that would beat Iowa whether the game is played in Iowa City or Yemen.

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