The best offense is a good defense. The second-best offense is a mediocre defense. But surely, the third-best offense is a good offense.
The trick is in deciding what way we as a team must go about scoring points. Hell, 50 years ago, we were punting on first down! And 100 years ago, women couldn't even vote!
I've broken down 10 different offensive attacks, checked out the stats, examined the ways they've succeeded or failed, and I think my analysis deserves a look.
Here's 10 teams whose offensive attacks are forces to be reckoned with.
10. Gus Malzahn's Hurry-Up Offense
Auburn looked like a phoenix rising from the ashes of its 2008 offensive incompetence to start the season, and all the credit belonged to Gus Malzahn.
Malzahn, the Tigers current offensive coordinator, was fresh off a gig with Tulsa, where he'd turned the Golden Hurricane into the nation's most prolific offensive attack, averaging 590 yards per game and just shy of 8,000 yards on the year in 2008.
Malzahn's "Hurry-up" offense is a no-huddle attack that stresses getting to the line quickly after a play is over and before a defense can properly substitute or anticipate an offensive playcall.
Getting the next play off as soon as possible is crucial, as it hopefully catches the defense winded and out of position.
Auburn appeared to be the beneficiary of this calisthenic approach, posting huge yardage amounts and insurmountable numbers in blowouts over West Virginia, Mississippi State, and Ball State.
They then put up more points on Tennessee than Florida did, and that was in Neyland Stadium.
So there was reason to believe Chris Todd was a new quarterback and that the Hurry-Up offense had a place in the SEC.
Then came a dreadful three-game losing streak to Arkansas, Kentucky and LSU, in which the Tigers only mustered diminishing point returns of 23, 14, and 10 points. The fear that the system wasn't viable was alive again.
Now the Tigers again appear resilient, posting a 33-20 win over SEC West rival Ole Miss.
Statistically, the offense has been sound. Auburn is second in the SEC in rushing yards (224 per game) and third in total offense. And it's a mean offense to try and defend if your players aren't properly conditioned.
Substituting too much risks blown assignments given Malzahn's extensive use of pre-snap motion and audibles, and if you don't get your players off the field in time, it's five yards a pop.
When paired with a great Auburn defense, this attack should be formidable, and as long as Gus Malzahn, Auburn's head coach and former defensive coordinator, upholds his end of the bargain, Auburn should be an emerging force in the SEC West in upcoming years.
Of course, with Malzahn in his first year and the Auburn Tigers without the proper cache of athletes, it's still a little soon to decide whether the hurry-up will be successful in the long term (other spread teams run no-huddle offenses without making it the team's primary focus), or if Malzahn will even have a proper chance to make it work, given Auburn's history with itchy trigger fingers.
But now that the Tigers are bowl eligible, there's a good chance Malzahn will have a few years to tinker.
This is good news for an offense that hasn't recently wowed in the point or yardage category and has spent the better part of the last five years searching for an identity.
9. Nevada's Pistol Option
Yes, I'm aware that's a video game screen shot. But it's a darn good one, and it shows exactly where Nevada's Colin Kaepernick lines up to run the pistol.
Nevada's "pistol" formation is an invention of current Wolf Pack head coach Chris Ault. The pistol term refers to the quarterback's position in a sort of "half-shotgun", three or four yards away from the center with a tailback lined up behind him.
From this position, the quarterback makes reads of the defensive line, like the kind the Georgia Tech's quarterbacks are required to do, but his position allows him a better vantage point of the defense from a spatial and time-sensitive standpoint.
Additionally, the running backs and fullbacks are closer to the line of scrimmage than in a pure shotgun formation, affording the defense less time to react.
Any of the runs, including the triple option pitch play, can be run out of the pistol, and Ault has continued his success in making the pistol offense the No. 1 rushing offense in the country at 319 yards per game.
However, the pistol formation hasn't translated to success outside of the WAC conference. There were high hopes for Nevada to break through and become a dark horse WAC and BCS contender, but they opened their schedule 0-3 against Notre Dame, Colorado State and Missouri, including a shutout loss to the Irish.
This was probably the year for it to break through, too. Colin Kaepernick, WAC offensive player of the year last year, returned for his senior season and as a chance to battle Boise State for the championship, but Nevada probably won't sniff a good postseason bowl barring some serious attention.
Until the pistol makes its presence felt on the big stage, I would cautiously say this is one of the easier atypical offenses to defend.
8. Miami's Play-Action Attack
Jacory Harris and the young Miami Hurricanes made some big splashes early in the year with an offensive explosion in their passing attack.
Harris looked every bit the Heisman contender with a conference leading pass efficiency rating and a killer instinct for the deep ball.
All the credit was going to first-year offensive coordinator Mark Whipple, an ex-NFL guy who'd also won a 1-AA national championship with the University of Massachusetts.
In particular, Whipple was buttering his bread by calling for a lot of play-action passes on first down.
Whipple coupled that with an aggressive strategy wherein the U wide receivers put a lot of double moves on opposing secondaries.
This was probably a holdover from his days with the Philadelphia Eagles; in the pros, cornerbacks are a lot better at not biting on the first hip turn.
The sophisticated passing attack was catching the Florida State and Georgia Tech secondaries way out of position downfield.
Finally, to complete this beast, Whipple turned to running the ball in the second half. This way, teams that were no longer respecting the run and anticipating the play-action were caught out of position when Harris actually handed the ball off.
The result? Gashing runs that bled clock and allowed Miami to sit on late leads.
That was all well and good except for what went down in the Virginia Tech game. At Ryan Field, defensive coordinator Bud Foster called for a variety of blitzes to counteract the gashing, but slow-developing, downfield passes.
VT's corners weren't so good that they could cover one-on-one consistently, but it didn't matter once Harris was under pressure and flinging ill-advised passes to avoid getting sacked.
Naturally, this resulted in a lot of sacks, two costly interceptions, and the game being out of reach by halftime.
This is all a long way of saying: Miami is a year away. The Hurricanes are still a Top 20 team passing and Top 30 in scoring, but they've lost a costly game to Clemson that will cost them a big-time bowl.
The good news is, Whipple isn't headed anywhere as offensive coordinator, his team is still young, and now that they've tasted the bitters of defeat, they can learn how to face blitzes and keep their offensive game going.
An upgrade at running back couldn't hurt; Javarris James is sturdy, but he lacks top end speed. Miami is too flush with talent to lag in any offensive category, in my mind.
Next year, defenses will have to guess right on the run vs. pass read, guess again on the final move the wide receiver is going to make, and hope for a little luck in sending the blitz, or they could face the same reborn air assault that left Florida State and Georgia Tech clutching at Harris' feet.
7. Wisconsin's Ground-Pound
Call it a ritual, but Wisconsin trots out the same team without fail every year.
Big, beefy offensive linemen; athletic tight ends with iffy blocking skills; stable of big, bruising tailbacks; wispy, game-managing quarterback; wash, rinse, lose to Penn State and Ohio State, repeat.
Still, the Wisconsin Ground-Pound has been effective in running up just shy of 200 yards per game, good for 20th in the country, and that's against both non-conference and conference competition (which is more than can be said for Michigan; just one of the reasons the Rich Rod spread n' shred is not on this list).
For undersized defenses, the Wiscy G-P is a nightmare to defend. Speed kills, but only against the Wisconsin defense. The sludgy big runners are a great equalizer.
The O-line changes up between zone-blocking and traditional gap-charging, guard pulling runs extremely deftly, and deploys the counter at just the moment when the defensive line is overpursuing and slanting to the wrong side.
Worst of all, Wisconsin has enough running back talent that there can be no real fatigue, evidenced by John Clay's late, rallying run against Fresno State to push the game to overtime.
That's not to say that, like the other plodding and bruising rushing attacks, Wisconsin isn't susceptible to going down early.
Ask Scott Tolzien to pass and he'll ask to which team. When they've had to go to the air, it's been a bit of a toss-up for the Badgers.
They can bash mediocre Big Ten teams into submission, but the Badgers still haven't proved the Ground-Pound is enough to win a Big Ten title.
But if you have to defend them, a few trips to the Old Country Buffet for your linebacking corps would go a long way.
6. Notre Dame's Pro-Style Attack
If you ask me, demanding that Charlie Weis should be fired is calling for the wrong head.
Fire Jon Tenuta, sure, but don't fire Weis, whose pro-style attack, with its Decided Schematic Advantage in tow, finally seems to be clicking.
The Irish are eighth in the country in passing yards per game (309.8) and are top 30 in scoring offense.
They've put up points in all their big games, including 27 against USC, and were a play away from tying the Trojans despite being down three possessions heading into the fourth quarter.
They're like a true NFL team in terms of when they score, running the two-minute drill as good as any offense in the pros.
Plus, the offensive line has played stellar, limiting pressure on Clausen and giving him ample time to look downfield.
Weis has even turned to the Wildcat to bolster a so-so running game like many of his NFL contemporaries. Robert Hughes is a buster and Jonas Gray will be an All-American soon enough.
Clausen's 66% completion rate is good for fifth best in the country, and he's averaging just shy of 300 yards per game. He's thrown 18 touchdowns to just two interceptions, an unthinkable ratio in 2007.
Though he's been hampered by a turf toe injury, he's been showing better pocket awareness and has bulked up significantly, and he's a great anticipatory thrower who can put the ball where only his receiver can fish it out (although it helps that that receiver is Golden Tate.
So please, fire Jon Tenuta.
5. Spread Option, Florida Gators
The Gators' spread option attack has been a little curtailed as of late. But for that, credit Monte Kiffin, Tennessee Volunteers defensive coordinator, who laid out a blueprint for defending the Gators in Tennessee's close loss to kick off SEC play.
Kiffin's idea was to defend the Gators inside-out; that is, to take away their running game inside first, and force Tebow to throw to his outside receivers, whom Kiffin often left in single coverage.
This was before Riley Cooper had established himself as a legitimate downfield threat, and the idea damn near worked, despite Tennessee's moribund, one-dimensional offense.
But for the real gashing yards Gators hang their hat on a handful of plays. One of them is the triple option, when Tebow fakes the inside dive and runs the option to the outside.
Tebow can either keep, pitch the ball inside to Aaron Hernandez, or pitch it outside to whichever tailback wasn't involved on the inside fake.
This play presents, count 'em, four possible options for defenses to defend, and explains why Florida's offense has been giving defensive coordinators nightmares since Tebow took the throne in 2007.
The other main play is the inside dive, where Tebow reads the defensive end to see if he crashes in or stays outside.
Tebow will hand off if the end stays home because the defense has sacrificed inside position, or keep and try his luck on the outside pitch game if he crashes.
The Gators' mobile offensive line is trained to quickly get off double teams and block downfield, so that if the running back can clear the line of scrimmage without getting held up by the end, there's a good chance he's got a shot at breaking loose because the linebackers and safety on the playside have already been chipped.
And if Tebow keeps, he can get a guaranteed three or four yards unless your safety is hard-charging to the LOS, which will help early in the game but could be punishing if Tebow does the run-fake off the dive and sets up to pass.
The Florida offense isn't lighting up scoreboards like it used to (though the 41-17 Georgia game looked like Florida back to its old self again), but the Gators are still sixth in the nation in rushing yards (252 per game) and sixth in scoring (36 ppg).
However, those stats take a significant dive when you factor out nonconference wins.
The Gators average eight PPG (28 overall) less against SEC foes, so there's still a chance one of those stiff SEC defenses gets the better of the Gators if they can follow Kiffin's blueprint and score some points on the other side of the ball.
If you're a team from any other conference...well, good luck.
4. Air Raid, Texas Tech
I won't disguise the fact that the irascible, politically incorrect, detestable Mike Leach is my favorite coach in the country. But it helps that he runs one of the most exciting offenses in college football.
As better columnists have unearthed, Leach's Airraid attack is an offshoot of the LaVell Edwards/Norm Chow pass-first offense run at BYU in the 80's.
The most basic concept of Leach's Airraid is that the offense practices a small number of plays out of five-wide, balanced, or trips set, and can run them with little preparation or risk of confusion and without the need of a huddle.
Leach's teams practice these plays against every type of defensive coverage in order for the quarterback to more quickly recognize man or zone.
Wide receivers are also coached to recognize man or zone coverage, and to notice and anticipate holes in the zone depending on how many players drop deep.
An anticipatory chemistry between quarterback and wide receiver, like the one enjoyed by Graham Harrell and Michael Crabtree in last year's record-breaking offense, can produce the kind of numbers those two produced consistently across all opponents.
Additionally, large splits between the offensive lineman on the line of scrimmage force defenses to spread out their defensive line, and this allows additional time for the quarterback to make quick reads and find early releases in the event of a blitz.
The splits can also open things up for a very effective draw play. The bias towards passing catches ends constantly rushing upfield and makes the draw particularly useful against outside and cornerback blitzes.
Leach used the draw to devastating effect in last week's game against Kansas, when Baron Batch rushed for 159 yards and four touchdowns.
Finally, the constant rehearsal of a small number of plays is what allows Leach to shuffle through quarterbacks with only minimal dropoff in productivity, as he's had to do this year.
Nominal starter Taylor Potts was struggling with confidence issues, and Steven Sheffield had an injury, so Leach inserted redshirt freshman Seth Doege, who passed for 158 yards and a touchdown in his first start.
In short, Leach's Airraid offenses enter the game with very specific advantages and force opposing defenses to adjust instead of vice versa. That Texas Tech is recruiting as well as they ever have is merely icing on the cake.
3.: Air Raid With Motion, Houston Cougars
The Cougars' offensive coordinator, Dana Holgorsen, studied under Leach and was Texas Tech's OC until the 2008 season.
Thus, it's safe to cross-apply all the analysis of Leach's offense, but to also add this wrinkle: the Houston Cougars use a variety of pre-snap motioning with wide receivers and running backs out of the backfield to expose zone versus man coverage.
This gives the Cougars quarterback an added advantage in time to recognize and debunk a defense.
Additionally, Holgorsen has adapted the quarterback draw to Houston's playbook, in order to capitalize on Case Keenum's athletic ability, and the play has worked to terrific effect.
Keenum has rushed for three touchdowns on the year, including the game winner against Texas Tech.
Something must be clicking, because Keenum is the most prolific passer in the country by more than 600 yards, has the fourth highest QB rating, boasts s a 5:1 touchdown to interception ratio, and just eclipsed Andre Ware's Heisman-winning numbers as Houston's QB in 1989.
Houston's only loss was a 58-41 shootout to UTEP in which Keenum passed for 536 yards and five touchdowns, so no one has really shown an ability to defend Keenum or the Cougs; only to outscore them.
Keenum has another year of eligibility. Don't get caught out of the loop if he starts getting some Heisman love late this year or next.
For an even more detailed analysis of similarities and differences between the Houston-Texas Tech offenses, go here. You won't regret it.
2. Flexbone Triple Option, Navy/Georgia Tech
The "triple option" as it describes the Navy and Georgia Tech offenses refers to the base dive versus option-pitch play that is the basis of the offense.
The "flexbone" term refers to the base alignment of players pre-snap. This alignment is five linemen on the LOS, two "h-backs" playing off at equal distances from the LOS (roughly a yard or so further back than a tight end who is off the line of scrimmage in a traditional formation), and one fullback lined up behind the QB (see picture).
Paul Johnson likes to motion one of the h-backs towards the playside, while Navy's offense is typically stationary until the snap.
What's involved in this play is a quick read by the quarterback as to the movement of the playside defensive end assigned to the dive handoff. The player directly behind the quarterback is traditionally the player taking the dive.
The QB reads the defensive end on the playside and determines whether to hand off or keep (this, like the zone-read or option pitch, takes a tremendous amount of repetition to get right).
A favorable matchup would be if the playside end is rushing upfield to contain the outside QB keeper as opposed to crashing inside. If he does this, the QB gives to the dive back.
The center and guard double the nose tackle and then the guard releases to block downfield once nose is properly guarded.
If the defender crashes down on the dive back, the QB heads outside, where the h-back who motioned before the snap has run behind to form a pitch option and the h-back and tackle that are originally playside block the linebackers and safety downfield.
It's a sign that something's working when three Georgia Tech players are in the top ten in ACC rushing statistics, and that's exactly what Paul Johnson has achieved.
Jonathon Dwyer, formerly all-conference player last year (and your nominal dive handoff guy), is third in the conference with 904 yard and eight touchdowns.
Josh Nesbitt, GT's athletic QB, is fourth, with 763 yards and 13 (!) touchdowns. And Anthony Allen, the typical h-back and Nesbitt's option for the pitch, is ninth with 470 yards and five touchdowns.
In addition, GT is second in the nation in rushing yards per game (304), 17th in total offense, and 12th in scoring.
What makes this offensive attack so effective is that teams need a lot of time to learn the proper defense, and usually only get a week.
There are only a few counters necessary off the base play (the toss, the play-action pass, and the counter) but they are effective in punishing a defense that is either playing too conservatively on the dive or too liberally on the pitch.
Defenses that play sloppily or can't shuck off downfield blocks will get punished as long as the offensive players execute their blocks.
A few drawbacks on the flexbone triple option are that it is susceptible to early deficits and penalties.
Georgia Tech was unable to overcome a fiery LSU squad that jumped on them quickly in the Chick-Fil-A Bowl last year, and this year, the Miami Hurricanes showed a hustle in getting off blocks that the Yellow Jackets were unprepared for.
It's a plodding, clock-controlling offense that requires a close game or a lead to be at its most effective, and the passing game will suffer if recruits don't feel they'll be thrown to enough.
A great test of the offense will be how well it survives in bowl games. For teams that have an entire month to prepare for the flexbone, how well will Johnson's system be able to counter that preparation? If they're successful, this could be one of the scariest and most effective offenses to defend for years to come.
1. Spread N' Shred, Oregon Ducks
The Oregon Ducks' offense has been a three-season renaissance in the making.
Chip Kelly was brought in as offensive coordinator under Mike Bellotti for the 2007 season.
Spread principles were already in place under ex-OC Gary Crowton, currently LSU's offensive coordinator, and a fan of wide-receiver-into-the-backfield pre-snap motion.
Kelly modified Oregon's spread attack, stressing the run first and promotion the read-option play as the bread-and-butter while still holding over elements of the downfield passing game to suit the above-average arm of Dennis Dixon.
Another Kelly claim to fame is his extremely convincing fake handoffs. Watching an Oregon game is pleasantly confusing for fan and cameraman alike, and it adds an extremely successful dimension to the increasingly commonplace zone-read play.
With the proper quarterback, the read-option attack punishes defensive lines over-pursuing on the running back or cautiously staying home on the fake handoff.
And the stats bear this out: the Ducks have the eighth-best rushing attack in the country, averaging 233.25 yards per game, and the 9th-best scoring offense with 35.6 PPG.
Pete Carroll tried to mitigate the bad press for the USC defense, saying the coaches put too much on the players' shoulders and prevented them from playing fast and loose.
But its possible Carroll just didn't want to admit that his or any defense will have nightmarish outings defending this spread when its as on as it was on Halloween.
Removing the Boise State game, the Ducks are averaging 40 PPG and 262 rush yards per game, and that's with Jeremiah Masoli, a stubby, undersized junior college transfer who was third on the depth chart last year.
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