The New York Yankees: Comparing Yankees to Horror Movie Villans
The 2009 New York Yankees are a scary team to face. Just ask any team that was included in their 103 wins. Now imagine the New York Yankees as horror movie villains. It is a scary thought but this presentation will give you a better idea who best resembles who.
Plus there is a surprise at the end!
Trick or Treat?
Derek Jeter as Jigsaw
If Jeter were to start in a horror movie he would be cast as the hero. But if he had to be cast as a bad guy he would be a very mental and creative serieal killer.
Derek Jeter is the mastermind of the New York Yankees. Jigsaw a mastermind serial killer. If you put two and two together you get one smart man...that gives you the chills.
Joba Chamberlain as The Fisherman from
Joba Chamberlain had a run in with the law during the offseason. He was charged with driving under the influence.
In the movie "I Know What You Did Last Summer," a group of teenagers are partying and afterwards are driving and hit a fisherman. They decide to get rid of the body and never speak about it. The Fisherman comes back and decided to haunt the teens.
Joba fits the personality of this Fisherman because he had that run in with the law, but put it aside. Like the Fisherman he was out for revenge. Joba wanted to save his reputation as a role model for young kids, while the Fisherman just wanted to get rid of his "killers."
AJ Burnett as Hannibal Lecter
Hannibal Lecter is one scary villain. Not only is he a psychopathic serial killer, but he is also a cannibal that eats his victims. What a chef!
Speaking of cook, who is the Yankees' top chef when it comes to walk-off pies? That's right, its AJ Burnett!
Burnett is very hungry though, but not for human meat, but for victory.
Hideki Matusi as the Girl from The Ring
The horror film, The Ring, originated in Japan. The horror flick then made its way to America to install fear into the minds of people across the pacific ocean.
Sound familiar? Hideki Matsui had the same journey that the movie had. Now Matsui is in America installing fear in the minds of American League pitchers.
Robinson Cano as Frankenstien
Many believe that Robinson Cano is the ugliest Yankee on the team. Some even found it great that he wore the Under Armour Hood to cover his face a cold game against the Angels. So what character form a horror movie is uglier than Frankenstein? Nobody, just like nobody is uglier than Robinson Cano in the opinions of many people.
Alex Rodriguez as Dracula
Dracula was a man very much like Alex Rodriguez. He was a single man that was always after women. He was thirsty and was looking for something to sink his teeth into. Rodriguez is a ladies man too, but shares a different type of thirst. A-Rod is thirsty for a World Series Championship.
CC Sabathia as Jaws
CC Sabathia is Big. What is bigger and scarier than a great white shark? Jaws was a film that revolutionized the human perspective of sharks.
CC Sabathia is just like a shark. When a hitter comes up to the plate against the big lefty, he will eat you up (not literally...well possibly) with strikes. Boy is CC scary!
Brett Gardner as Chucky
Brett Gardner is still a young kid. So is Chucky. But both of these guys have are very mature. Gardner thinks about bettering his baseball skills so that he can help his team compete against other teams, and stay in ballgames. Chucky just wants to eliminate the competition.
Nick Swisher as Pennywise the Dancing Clown (aka It)
Nick Swisher is the clown in the Yankees clubhouse. If he were part of the a horror movie, a role as a killer clown would fit him best. "It" is one of Stephen King's most popular creations. The clown uses children's greatest fears and brings them to a reality to haunt them. Boy does Nick Swisher fit the personality of "It."
Johnny Damon as Jack Torrance
In the 1980's movie "The Shining," Jack Nicholson plays a writer that has gone completely mad. So what better person to play a Johnny than a Johnny?
Damon installs fear to pitchers when on the base paths. He has always been a threat when on base. Also the phrase Redrum (murder backwards) has the word red in it. Johnny was a Red Sox on that 2004 team that called themselves idiots.
Mariano Rivera as Freddy Kreuger
Freddy Kreuger and Mariano Rivera would be a great one-two combo! Mariano Rivera is baseball's "Sandman" and sends his opponents to their final resting place. Once his opponents are asleep, Kreuger would start would be an even scarier nightmare to have.
As a hitter what would be scarier facing Mariano Rivera or knowing that Freddy Kreuger will be waiting after Rivera is done with you?
Who plays Mike Myers?
Mike Myers is probably the scariest horror movie villain. But which Yankee best fits his personality and character?
Mike Myers as Mike Myers
Mike Myers may not be on the New York Yankees anymore, but he definitely deserves this honorable mention. He has the same name as the horror movie serial killer, and his entrance song was the "Halloween" theme. He was dominant against lefties at times and would surprise Yankee fans.
Not to mention he was a Red Sox at one point in his career, so there was that point where Yankee fans wanted him dead, much like the characters in the Halloween series wanting Mike Myers (the serial killer) dead.
Have a fun and safe Halloween!