Scary Chiefs Dress up for Halloween

By (Correspondent) on October 31, 2009

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The Kansas City Chiefs are on a bye this week, so everyone within the organization should take the extra time off to enjoy their Halloween weekend.
Here are some costume ideas for the folks within the organization.
Please take a moment to leave a comment and vote for your favorite!

Here are the contestants:

1. K.C. Wolf
2. Jamaal Charles
3. Matt Cassel
4. Clark Hunt
5. Scott Pioli
6. Todd Haley
7. Lance Long
8. Derrick Johnson
9. Peter Schaffer (Larry Johnson's agent)
10. Larry Johnson

K.C. Wolf as Wiley Coyote

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Being the Chiefs Mascot the last couple years has to be rough, and Wiley Coyote seems to be the perfect costume for K.C. these days.
K.C. plays second fiddle to Warpaint in the eyes of many Chiefs fans, much like Wiley is overshadowed by the Road Runner.

Jamaal Charles as Underdog

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With recent developments at the running back position, Charles is out to prove he can be the Chiefs' superhero on the offensive side of the ball.
Much like Underdog, Charles is smaller and less intimidating than most of today's superhero running backs, but hopefully that will help him sneak up and punish opposing defenses the rest of the season.

Matt Cassel as Rocky Balboa

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If there's one thing Matt Cassel has proved to Chiefs fans this season, it's that he can get back up after being knocked down.
Hopefully, like Rocky Balboa was able to do, Cassel can at some point parlay the beatings he's taking into some victories. We won't get too greedy and ask for championship belts just yet.

Clark Hunt as Ronald Reagan

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Obviously, with the Chiefs struggling to win games in 2009, who better for Hunt to dress up as than Ronald Reagan?
Maybe, just maybe, Hunt can walk into the locker room in the coming weeks and ask his players to "win one for The Gipper."
Of course as young as this team is, with many of the players not even born until after Reagan left the White House, they may actually think Hunt is The Gipper.

Scott Pioli as Donald Trump

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With as much turnover as there has been on this roster, plus the situation with Larry Johnson, Pioli is this team's Donald Trump.
And with a need for more talent at virtually every position on the roster, Pioli could probably get away with wearing this costume for quite some time. Don't be surprised if he's saying "You're Fired!" a lot over the course of the next several months.

Todd Haley as Tripper Harrison

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It's obvious this Chiefs team doesn't have the talent of the best teams in the NFL right now.
That said, it's imperative that Haley develop a strategy and motivational technique to suit this group of players.
Who better for Haley to impersonate on Halloween than Bill Murray's character from the movie Meatballs, Tripper Harrison?
In the movie, "Trip" led a rag-tag group from Camp North Star against the uber-athletic Camp Mohawk in the annual Olympiad. Totally outmatched, Trip was able to strategically pick his battles and put his camp's fortunes on the back of their best athlete, Rudy "the Rabbit," who Trip had taken under his wing and groomed into a champion cross-country runner.
Who knows, maybe Haley can take something out of Trip's playbook, and get some wins behind Matt Cassel, Dwayne Bowe, and company.

Lance Long as Rudy Ruettiger

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Before last week's loss to the San Diego Chargers, it was a safe bet that not many Chiefs fans knew who Lance Long was.
Long, an undrafted wide receiver out Mississippi State who Haley grabbed from the Arizona Cardinals practice squad, is the Chiefs' version of Rudy Ruettiger.
Long, like Sean Astin's character in the movie, is small and makes plays in spite of his natural abilities. He's not fast, or big, or has the best hands on the team, but he has the biggest heart and works harder than anyone else.
He also scares the heck out of you when you see him get hit by bigger, faster, stronger defensive players.

Derrick Johnson as the Invisible Man

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Not that long ago, most people close to the team would tell you that Derrick Johnson is the most naturally gifted player on the Chiefs' defense.
It would be difficult to make that comment today, because Johnson rarely makes it on the field anymore. The Chiefs' "Invisible Man" shows flashes when he plays, but apparently he still isn't doing it consistently enough for Haley.

Peter Schaffer as Jerry McGuire

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Schaffer, the agent for running back Larry Johnson, has a lot in common with the fictional Jerry McGuire.
He believes in honesty and ethics as an agent, and shows disdain for the questionable tactics of someone like super-agent Drew Rosenhaus.
Schaffer has his hands full with the troubled Johnson, much like McGuire had his hands full with the enigmatic Rod Tidwell.
Like McGuire, Schaffer is probably pulling his hair out right now because of Johnson's recent antics. Antics that will likely spark a McGuire-esque effort to find Johnson a new team, but that will have to wait until Schaffer can negotiate an amicable split with a fed-up Chiefs organization.

Larry Johnson as the Reverend Fred Phelps

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Fred Phelps, like Johnson this past week, shows a fondness for using a particular three-letter gay slur to show his disdain for people he doesn't like.
Also like Johnson, Phelps's list of people he doesn't like is basically everyone he's not related to.
Phelps, who preaches hatred of seemingly everyone, also makes a habit of embarrassing residents of the city of Topeka, who are ashamed of the fact that Phelps makes his home there.
Aside from the fact that these two guys would likely hate each other, probably because they're so much alike, it only seems natural for Johnson to don a white cowboy hat and impersonate Phelps this Halloween.
To that end, don't be surprised if you don't see Phelps wearing a red 27 jersey at his next Gay Hate rally in a town near you.

Happy Halloween everyone!

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