Seven Weeks and the Seven (Fantasy) Dwarfs

Every year we get all caught up in the preseason hype surrounding certain players.

Many of these players are potential “fantasy giants” but end up flopping and looking more like “fantasy dwarfs.”

In the spirit of that metaphor, I’ve decided to write about the seven biggest flops in fantasy football so far this season.

Each of these flops, or “dwarfs," has been given a nickname taken from the classic story, “Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs.”

Matt "Sleepy" Forte, RB, Chicago Bears

Starting off the list is perhaps the biggest fantasy bust of the season, Matt “Sleepy” Forte.

Forte was almost unanimously considered a top four overall pick going into the year, but is no longer considered a starter in many fantasy leagues.

The level of disappointment that we all have in Forte is astounding. This guy was supposed to be someone that fantasy owners could rely on to carry themto the fantasy playoffs with monster game after monster game. Instead, through his six games, Forte has just 472 total yards and one touchdown.

Forte is “Sleepy,” because he still has the potential to wake up. But he needs to do it soon.

The Bears have a great matchup in Week Eight against the Browns, but the schedule gets significantly tougher after that.

If he doesn’t turn it around against the Browns, it might be time to stick Forte on your bench and let him rot there. Or dump him on some poor, unsuspecting soul.

Brandon "Bashful" Jacobs, RB, New York Giants

The Giants lead their division at 4-2. They have a top five rushing attack. So, you’d expect that the team’s starting running back, Brandon Jacobs, would actually be fantasy relevant.

Unfortunately for those who believed that, he has been anything but.

Jacobs is averaging 71 total yards per game with just two touchdowns. To make matters worse, despite touching the ball 25 less times, "backup" running back Ahmad Bradshaw has out-produced Jacobs in both yardage and touchdowns.

"Yes, I see myself a tone-setter," Jacobs exclaimed. "I'm going out and I'm just running into people, my 6-foot-4, 265-pound frame is doing what it's supposed to be doing, running into people and getting 2-yard losses. Happy?"

“If I finish the season averaging [3.4 yards] a carry, I won’t play next year,” Jacobs told the New York Daily News. “I’ll be done. That’s how much I believe in my ability.”

Is Brandon "Bashful" Jacobs embarrassed by his own play?

Jacobs is currently at 3.9 yards per carry this season, flirting dangerously close to that 3.4 retirement mark.

Though he finally got into the end zone again in Week Seven, it’s going to take a lot more than that to make us forget about the garbage we’ve had to sit through this year.

Terrell "Dopey" Owens, WR, Buffalo Bills

A new team, a fresh face, another chance for a city that loves its football…yeah, who am I kidding? Terrell Owens has been nothing short of a joke and is most certainly worthy of the nickname “Dopey.”

Owens has averaged less than 35 receiving yards per game this season and has scored one lousy touchdown.

He was supposed to be the savior to the Bills’ offense and at least a startable fantasy wide receiver, but he has been absolutely neither.

Buffalo’s offense has been so terrible that even Terrell Owens’ seems to have lost his demand for the football. Sadly, he seems resigned to the fact that his team has no chance and his time as an elite fantasy receiver is over.

Considered a borderline top 10 receiver going into the season, Owens is now someone who can reasonably be dropped into free agency in almost all fantasy formats.

Greg "Happy" Jennings, WR, Green Bay Packers

One of the most confusing fantasy busts this year has to be Packers receiver, Greg Jennings.

His average draft position had him going in the early-to-mid third round in most leagues, meaning that he was being relied on by most of his owners to be their number one receiver.

Instead of living up to those expectations, though, Jennings seems to be “happy” averaging less than 60 receiving yards per game with just one touchdown.

When asked about what he might do to get the ball thrown his way, Jennings responded, “You have to go about it in a respectful way, and it's not who I am to get outside of that. Do I get frustrated? Yes. Do I get highly upset? Yes. (But) we kind of stay away from complaining to everybody else."

Please Greg, for the sake of all of us who have been crying our eyes out watching you screw us over every Sunday–SPEAK UP!

Jennings does have two games over 100 yards this season, including his week one performance where he went for 106 yards and a touchdown. That gave owners confidence in him for Week Two. That’s when the tragedy began.

Jennings was completely shut out against the Bengals. Not one catch. In a game when Aaron Rodgers threw for 261 yards.

Since week one, Jennings is in a six-game scoring drought and has been nothing better than a number three fantasy receiver.

Still happy?

Anquan "Sneezy" Boldin, WR, Arizona Cardinals

Like the dwarf, Anquan “Sneezy” Boldin has been unhealthy most of the year. And like Greg Jennings, Boldin was widely considered a top 10 receiver going into the year.

After averaging 89 yards and a full touchdown per start in 2008, Boldin has dropped to just 63.5 yards per game. Worse yet, his one touchdown per game has dropped to just one touchdown in his first six games.

If he can get healthy, Boldin has the potential to be one of the top-scoring fantasy receivers.

Kurt Warner is still passing to him often, he just doesn’t seem to have that explosion and aggressiveness that helped to get him open in the past.

The tough part about Boldin is that his ankle injury is supposed to affect him for at least another few weeks. By then, it might be too late to salvage his fantasy season.

LaDainian "Doc" Tomlinson, RB, San Diego Chargers

Poor, old “Doc” Tomlinson (I think he’d be mad if he read that. Which is exactly why I wrote it. Someone needs to light a fire under him). It’s tough to watch him struggle with his age.

After bragging about how healthy he was in the preseason, it didn’t take Tomlinson long to get back to old habits.

He got into the end zone in Week One against the Raiders, but was also injured during the game. Ah yes, both of the things we’ve come to know from Tomlinson: touchdowns and injuries.

That injury cost him the next two games (and most of the third game).

Tomlinson came back after the bye-week by putting up 100 total yards against the Broncos. He followed that with a disappointing performance against a terrible Chiefs defense in a blowout Chargers win.

The biggest scare, he still hasn’t scored since Week One.

The Chargers seem content to move forward with Philip Rivers being “the guy” in their offense.

San Diego currently ranks 4th in the NFL in passing and 31st in rushing, and that doesn’t appear to be changing.

Despite having complete control of the game against the Chiefs in Week Seven, Rivers still passed for 268 yards and three touchdownn.

The days of LaDainian Tomlinson being a fantasy stud are in the past.

Steve "Grumpy" Smith, WR, Carolina Panthers

The Panthers won perhaps the toughest division in the NFL in 2008, but currently sit near the bottom of the South at 2-4 in 2009.

The coaches are angry, the players are angry, and perhaps no player fits his nickname more than Panthers receiver, Steve “Grumpy” Smith.

"I'm no longer an asset to this team," Smith said recently.

With Jake Delhomme playing the worst football of his professional career, Smith has become a bench player for many fantasy owners. This, despite being considered a sure-fire lock to be (at least) a starting fantasy receiver this year.

Smith has also been hammered by football experts, who are now calling him “the other Steve Smith,” a term formerly used to describe the Giants’ receiver with the same name.

The Panthers’ Smith has averaged under 60 yards per game this season and hasn’t scored a single touchdown.

Though he figures to turn his fantasy season around a bit after a decent Week Seven performance (six catches, 99 yards), Smith remains a weak fantasy play until Jake Delhomme can get back into a groove.

And that may never happen again.

Wrapup

All of these fantasy dwarfs could come back and produce in the second half of the season, but it seems likely they will remain mediocre and haunt our Sunday afternoons with their terrible play.

"Mirror, mirror on the wall,” the fantasy owner asked. “Which fantasy dwarf is fairest of all?”

“None of these dwarfs are fairest of all,” the mirror replied. “These players stink and aren’t touching the ball.”