It doesn't matter who your team is, Aaron Torres has you covered. To read all his thoughts on this weekend in college football, including his take on Florida-Mississippi State, Notre Dame-Boston College and LSU-Auburn, please click here , or visit him at www.aarontorres-sports.com

 

OHIO STATE (-16) over Minnesota: 12:00 p.m.

With all the talk in the Big 10 over the last week about Ohio State’s stink bomb at Purdue, something equally important got glossed over—Minnesota’s offense is worse. WAY worse.

Watching the Gophers play Penn State last weekend was like getting a root canal without Novocain, except on the way out rather than getting handed a bill, the doctor punches you in the face for fun. It was that painful, I wish I was lying.

The offense accounted for 138 yards  and if you take out one Adam Weber to Eric Decker deep ball (for 43 yards) Minnesota’s line is as follows: 39 plays, for 95 yards or a crisp 2.4 yards per play; FOR AN ENTIRE GAME!  

So, congratulations to Minnesota. We all knew the Big 10 was bad, really bad, but last weekend you took the league to a level of unwatchability that may never be topped.

 

MIAMI (-5 ½) over Clemson: 3:30 p.m.

Have you ever dated a girl and you’re not really sure why? She’s not that pretty, has a boring personality, and doesn’t know any special, you know, tricks.

Then when you’re just about to end things, she shows up to your door with a plate of brownies and you think, “Damn, I can’t break up with her,she just made me brownies." "Why would she do that? I guess this will have to wait a few weeks.”

Well, Clemson’s win over Wake Forest last week was its version of showing up with the plate of brownies. Clemson is erratic passing the ball, gives up too many big plays defensively, and doesn't get the rock to C.J. Spiller enough. But after going off for 38 points last Saturday, you feel like you should stick around for one more game.

Don’t let the win fool you, the Tigers are less stable then Terrell Owens right now. Get away, get away before it’s too late!

 

MICHIGAN (+4) over Penn State: 3:30 p.m.

And the award for worst attempt at a joke that led to 15 seconds of awkward silence, goes to Matt Millen, who had this gem in last week’s Penn State-Minnesota game.

“Daryll Clark has so much time in the pocket, he could read Tolstoy back there.”

Hmm … oh wait, that was supposed to be a joke? I get it. Like Minnesota’s pass rush was so weak that Clark could have literally read a book because he had so much time. Ok. But he didn’t actually have a book, right?

Listen, I don’t blame Millen for trying to spice up a game that was about as exciting as going pumpkin picking with your girlfriend, but couldn’t he have said something a little juicier?

Something like, “Clark has so much time in the pocket, he could read Penthouse back there.” Or “Man, I haven't seen anything this ugly come out of Minnesota since Latrell Sprewell was playing for the Timberwolves.”

Maybe he could have even used the old Seinfeld joke, and tried to convince Sean McDonough that the original title for War and Peace was supposed to be War, What Is It Good For?

Come on Matt, anything but what you said.

 

Tennessee (+15) over ALABAMA: 3:30 p.m.

I have to say, you’d think that with all the nice quotes Lane Kiffin threw Alabama’s way this past week, that he might be getting ready to ask Nick Saban to the prom or something.

Anyway, I like Tennessee in this one because they are coming off their best win, followed by a bye week at just the right time.

Well coached teams are supposed to peak right around this part of the season and that’s what seems to be happening in Knoxville. And with Greg McElroy struggling the last two weeks and Monte Kiffin having an extra week to prepare for Mark Ingram, the Vols just feel right.

Here’s another question: With Auburn and LSU struggling right now, is this Alabama’s toughest game left on the road to an undefeated season? I think it might be.

 

Texas (-12 ½) over MISSOURI: 8:00 p.m.

Did anyone notice in last weekend’s Oklahoma-Texas game when Kirk Herbstreit inexplicably called Jordan Shipley,Jeremy Shockley?

Not only did I laugh, but it got me thinking that we’ve officially reached the point where Herbie is spending too much time with Brent Musberger.

Can senility wear off on someone else? Just to be safe, somebody should probably get Mike Tirico on the phone. I’m sure he’d be glad to hop in the booth for a few Saturday’s, considering he already works about 350 days a year and all.

Anyway, in this one, Texas is going to do their Texas thing. It’s probably going to be 13-10 at halftime and then the Longhorns are going to rip off 17 straight third quarter point, and win it going away.

Expect a big game of from Jeremy Shockley, I mean Jerry Sharpley, I mean, you know what, let’s just keep going.

 

(** Aaron’s Note: There are 11 guys on the football field, and this week he is making an 11th pick, in honor of a player whose life was taken too soon)

UConn (+7 ½) over WEST VIRGINIA: 12:00 p.m.

This is a super somber pick for me, in what has been a pretty somber week.

For those of you who don’t know, I am a UConn alumnus and actually worked for the football team for a year. I’ve walked by the Student Union on campus about 45,000 times and eaten lunch there about 10,000 more.

Never once did I think it’d be a crime scene. That someone would lose their life in a spot where I shared handshakes with friends and kisses with ex-girlfriends.  

Now I never knew Jasper Howard, but I do remember the first time that I crossed paths with the UConn football star who was murdered last Sunday; at least metaphorically.

It was the fall of 2007, Howard’s first semester at the university. At the time one of my best friends was a walk-on on the football team and I asked him his thoughts on the team coming out of fall camp.

Instead of talking about the half a dozen guys on the roster who’d be playing in the NFL in coming years, all my friend would gush about was this little freshman from Miami. “AT, you got to see this kid Jasper Howard,” my buddy said. “I don’t know how the hell we got him. We must have fixed his SAT scores or something, ‘cause he’s too good to be playing here.”

We both got a good laugh out of it, and my friend was joking of course. But sure enough when the season started, there was Howard playing as a true freshman, returning punts and playing in nickel coverage.

But more than anything he did on the field, all I ever heard about was Jasper Howard, the person. Everything that’s been reported these last few days is 100 percent true. There wasn’t anyone who crossed Howard’s path that he didn’t touch. That he didn’t impact.

Not just current players, but his past teammates and the UConn community as a whole. I know a few of his former teammates pretty well, guys currently on NFL rosters, grown men that are paid to inflict pain on other grown men. Most of them broke down in tears upon hearing about Howard’s untimely death.

Again, there wasn’t a person that Howard crossed paths with that he didn’t touch.

This Saturday it’s going to be emotional in Morgantown. To say that West Virginia has owned UConn these past couple years is like saying Tim Tebow has a close relationship with God.

It’s not just a fact, it’s an understatement at this point. The last time UConn went to Milan-Puskar Stadium it lost 66-21 and the game wasn’t even that close.

But I honestly believe this week is different, that the Huskies are going to find a way to win. Win one for themselves and win one for their fallen brother.

UConn 18 West Virginia 12

 

R.I.P Jazz Howard

 

(This is only part of Aaron Torres Week 8 College Football Preview. To read his thoughts on Florida-Mississippi State, LSU-Auburn and Notre Dame-Boston College, please visit him at www.aarontorres-sports.com )