We get it. We’re men.
The mere sight of a hot piece of ass in a short skirt and heels smiling seductively our way has us chewing through our finger to dump the wedding ring as fast as humanly possible. We’re bucklers and we know it.
But when you’re a superstar athlete raking in the big bucks surrounded by groupies 24-7 and living the rock star life, the tail gets thrown out faster than a Kirstie Alley diet.
So with the smorgasbord of poonany available, there’s got to be some standards.
We get it when men cave for the blond who puts her hand on our thigh and coos. We just don’t get it when athletes fall for these chicks. There’s gotta be a radar detector for crazy. Only problem is, these jocks never saw it coming.
Without further adieu, we present to you: The 10 Worst Wives and Girlfriends in Sports History
For a second, let’s try to look past Brenda’s butchy haircut, which has lesbian softball league player written all over it. Kurt’s partner in Jesus is famous for calling talk radio shows to berate the media and criticize his coaches.
The ex-Marine and mother of seven is famous for the frequent camera shots of her during Warner’s first Super Bowl runs in the late 1990s, feverishly clapping and looking more like his mom.
On second thought, we can’t get past the hair.
File this under divorces gone real ugly.
After putting up with a marriage that included Strahan sacking lots of other broads, Jean went on the offensive and attempted to out her husband, claiming his new male roommate was also his lover.
Then she held a yard sale on her front lawn, selling off all of her husband’s football memorabilia. And if that wasn’t enough, she walked away with a $15.3 million award when a pre-nup was upheld in court.
That one probably hurts Strahan the most and is the main reason he yucks it up on NFL pregame shows each week.
Nothing says love like a pair of handcuffs.
Which is essentially what Jackie, wife of Kings star Doug, has put on her husband throughout his career. She insists on accompanying Doug on all road trips and insists as in, ‘You ain’t goin’ anywhere with my man, bitch!’ that all interviews with female media members be conducted in her presence.
She also forced her p-whipped husband to change in a separate locker room so female reporters wouldn’t see his goodies.
But on the plus side, she attacked Rick Fox with her purse when a brawl between Doug and Rick spilled into the stands.
Always in search of the next good time, Daly met Sherrie at a 2001 golf tournament and the pair were married seven weeks later.
A week after welcoming son John Patrick into the world, Sherrie and her parents were indicted in Mississippi on charges stemming related to a drug ring and illegal gambling operation.
Sherrie did a five-month stretch in the big house and after getting sprung, she and John filed for divorce. They reconciled until Sherrie tried to attack John with a steak knife.
No wonder Daly drinks and gambles so much.
Who can forget Hall of Fame-bound point guard Jason Kidd blowing kisses to his wife before every foul shot?
And who knew Kidd’s smoking hot squeeze planted tracking devices on her husband’s cars and computers, used their eight-year-old son, T.J., to smuggle her husband’s cell phone out of his locker during a home game, and threatened to ruin him with phony domestic violence complaints as J-Kidd alleged.
He also said she was fond of throwing household objects at him. On the flipside, Joumana alleged in her divorce suit that Jason hit with her everything from a rock to a cookie. Mmm cookies.
Thousands of miles away from his native Germany, the star Maverick was lonely so he engaged in an e-mail and phone call relationship with the 38-year-old Taylor.
Fast forward the fairy tale and Dirk falls in love and springs for a $250,000 engagement ring. On the advice of friends, he hired a private investigator as part of a pre-nup process.
Lo and behold, turns out the never-to-be Mrs. Nowitzki was wanted in two states on outstanding warrants and boasted eight different aliases and an ex-husband who alleges she racked up $330,000 in debt.
And she said she was pregnant with Dirk’s love child.
Suddenly, getting ousted in the NBA playoffs doesn’t look so bad.
Oh life was so simple when Kitaen was a sex kitten starring alongside Tom Hanks in “Bachelor Party” and slithering on car hoods in Whitesnake videos.
And when she married pretty boy pitcher Chuck Finley, it seemed like a match made in heaven.
Faster than you can say, “Crazy ass bitch,” Kitaen took it to Chuck one night on a ride home, attacking him with her high heels, gouging his arm, thigh, and leg.
She also tried to jam her high-heeled foot through Finley’s foot on the gas pedal, ramping up the adrenaline-fueled excitement.
Most embarrassing of all, the 6'6", 245-pound Finley filed spousal abuse charges against the foot smaller Kitaen, marking her second arrest in six months.
Seems she also keyed a car months earlier in an insane rage.
Kazimi, the married McNair’s 20-year-old side action, only wanted to be with the Titans star quarterback.
She was convinced Air McNair was about to divorce his wife and spend his life with her.
But the Dave and Buster’s shift manager was getting impatient, admitting she was stressed—probably because she tried to hit him up for $2,000 to “pay off bills.”
Instead, she went out and purchased a handgun and pumped four bullets in the father of four, two in the head and two in the chest, before turning the gun on herself and committing suicide.
The 22-year-old Brooke burst into the news this week when her brief but torrid relationships with 46-year-old married ESPN analyst Steve Phillips came to light.
The ESPN production assistant went all “Fatal Attraction” after the pair slept together a few times, repeatedly calling Phillips’ wife Marni, and sending a letter that bragged of their sex romps and referenced a birthmark on Phillips’ crotch.
To top it off, Hundley crashed her car at Phillips’ house while delivering the letter and posed on Facebook as a classmate of Phillips’ teenage son, asking personal questions about Phillips and the family, including: “Do your parents sleep in the same bed?”
Be careful, there may be a rabbit on the stove.
A linebacker and special teams player with the Bengals in the late ‘70s and early ‘80s, Dinkel wasn’t allowed the luxury of popping pain-killers and dealing with crippling arthritis like most retired NFLers.
No, Dinkel had to deal with his 51-year-old wife having an affair.
With a 15-year-old classmate of her teenaged son.
Jeni Lee was arrested on rape and sodomy charges for inappropriate activity at house parties during a four-month span. Giving the kids beer wasn’t enough for ol' Mrs. Dinkel.
Paging Stiffler’s Mom, Paging Stiffler’s Mom.