David Letterman Style Top Ten List How To Break Evil Empires Horns & Win

10. First practice hard: Get a bunch of chicken bones and start cracking them. then work your way up the animal kingdom until you've found something comparable. like turkey wings! "What a bunch of turkeys!'

9.You guys need to stop watching the Phillies and the Dodgers; highlight previews and the actual games. This is unhealthy! "look at Ryan Howard. Wow, he can hit!"

8. Take Tae bo lessons Just in case there is an "Angels are winning, let's have a brawl!" moment. so we can get in their heads.

7. Let the rally monkey put on an evil empire uniform and sabotage them they'll never know the difference. "This must be the new guy!"

6. When on third base, start doing the who's on first, Abbot and Costello bit. It always gets them. "Who's on first? When they look, and they will, you run for it ans score. repeat until you win the game.

5. Stop complaining and "put a cork in it". No that doesn't mean shut up. Literally put a cork in your bat. You'll have major home runs.

4. Tell them the Babe would have wanted us to win! "Yeah of course he loves the Angels. Don't people say he's playing baseball with the Angels now!

3. They're superstitious: write a chain letter that says if you win today you will never win again in your lives so lose today but make sure it looks real guys. or you will grow halo's. "how you gonna be evil with Halo's?" 

2. Bring the umpires gifts, they didn't get when they were children, in unmarked boxes; except for a set of little wings. "Our sign is a Halo, not those stupid wings heh, heh!(wink,wink) You'll get all the good calls. Teary eyed " i always wanted one of these. but dad was too strict! "foul? Of course it's a home runs, it's possible it bounced all the way back to the mound." Angels Win!

1. Distract A-rod by Yelling out "Kate!" not "Aha!" (come on that's funny!)

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