Florida State: Chuck Norris' Chin Hired As Defendent

Matt SheaCorrespondent IOctober 19, 2009

The 'Noles can't stop The U to start the year off. They can't beat Jax State till the waning moments of the game. An inspired effort leads to a 54-28 whooping of seventh-ranked BYU. An uninspired end to the month of September losing to USF then moving down the ranks to being ultimately...nothing. Losing three weeks in a row has not been fun for the school and its many supporters. Yet this eve, there is a new buzz around Tallahassee.

That's right, Chuck Norris' chin will be the brick wall that separates future opponents from the end zone. To quote the rough and tough chin "No more mediocre defense will be tolerated. I rule with a stubbly fist that will stop all in my path just shy of the line of scrimmage." He truly brings hope to 'Nole nation with that statement.

FSU's lack of defense was no more exposed than when the chin spoke out again later in the press conference on the rising star's webpage when he states that "The Tar Heels won't know what hit them until they're knocked five yards backwards." Truly inspiring.

Yes sir, he's a tough chin. Previously, after witnessing the 49-45 loss to Georgia Tech, he had this to say in the post-game media review on his web site: "It is my responsibility to make sure that this lack of intensity never happens again. I just recently got off the phone with Bobby B. (Bowden), and he said, 'This defense is a dadgum disgrace, they need new, inspired blood.' That is exactly what I shall bring."

To all who doubt the chin, he has a very strong fist ready to lash out at all doubters. This week will determine whether or not the chin will truly play inspired or whether he too is "who we thought he was," a violently useless ruling hand. Here come the 'Noles down the tunnel at Kenan Memorial Stadium. They don't look to happy and neither does the chin. *Insert Warchant Here*