In Honor Of E!SPN Getting a "TO's Duck" To Comment On NFL Fashions

I'll interview the clearly heterosexual Jeff Garcia.  

Yes, heterosexual.  If knew acting "Fabulous" could get me a playmate...  (Follow link a the bottom of other article to see gratuitous pictures of his wife.  BTW, TO, offer still stands, big boy.)

End sexuality disclaimer.

"So, Jeff," I ask, "first off, are you upset at having missed the Breast Cancer awareness day?'

"Oh, of course!" he said.  "The chance to wear pink would be fabulous, but the NFL did not go far enough.  I'd wear a pink chin strap, a pink thong, and pink socks.  My former playmate wife thinks I'm fetching in pink."

"Um," I say, "did you say 'thong'?  Um, be that as it may, I wanted to get your opinion on how you'd have looked in any of the throw back uniforms."

"Well I would look fabulous in anything and would get my incredibly hott wife, whom I do have sex with, really ready for little Jeffy.  If you know what I mean."

"Um, ah, um," I stammer.

"It is OK, honey buns, I know what you meant," said Garcia.  "Although vertical stripes are slimming, the Broncos brown and yellow thing is atrocious.  Besides, what player wants his legs to look thinner?"

"Nose Tackles," I say.

"OK, I'll give you the cellulite guys.  But even the fatties would not need the slimming effect on their ankles and calves.

ended prematurely because BR hung up on me

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