Mavericks at Wizards: A Preseason Slide Show

As a native of Washington DC, I am located a few thousand miles away from my beloved Dallas Mavericks. So when they come to play the Wizards, I'm there.

When they come in the preseason, and front row tix behind the Maverick's bench are $40, I'm SO in.

What follows is a slide show of that magical evening, when I was literally a few feet from several Mavericks, and only about 20 feet from their bench.

Don't go there!

Erick Dampier just swished a corner three during warm-ups. That's Drew Gooden and Matt Carroll groaning, because not only can Damp apparently shoot, but now he's taken both of their jobs.

Let's get this party started

I, for one, was glad when the Mavs finally re-signed James Singleton, because now the Mavs have an official guy to give out chest bumps to the starters during team intros.

Somehow, I don't think J.J. Barea would have been able to cut it.

For reaslies?

No, that's not photoshop magic folks, that's Gilbert Arenas playing defense.

Now that he's not blogging, he's got the energy to defend. Who'd a thunk it?

He's got the ball...

One thing about front row seats, while it's cool to be so close to the action, you actually don't get many good angles on the hoop, and the players block the photo sometimes.

Oh well. It's the price I pay for being a big shot.

FYI, Dirk's one-legged Euro fadeaway followed this picture. Man, it's been a LONG offseason.

Towel Boy

Is it weird that I briefly considered chloroforming this kid, stealing his clothes, and making off with all of the Mavs' soiled towels?

It's not weird, right?

Let's ask that guy

I swear, right before I snapped this, Jason Kidd pointed right at me.

"Hey, you guys see that jerk in all the Mavs gear? I bet he's thinking about stealing our dirty towels."

I loved you in "The Mask"

My friend, a Wizards fan, nudged me as Rick Carlisle wakled by and said, "Dude, I think that's Jim Carrey! He must be sitting courtside."

Not only that, but apparently he's filling in for the Mavs coach for the game.

Looks familiar

I saw Quinton Ross' uniform out of the corner of my eye, and for a second, I thought it said "Bass."

Then a tear slowly fell out of the same eye.

The Dirkster

Yes, I took creepy, stalker-style close ups of Dirk throughout the game. Want to fight about it?

Creepy

Speaking of creepy, have you ever seen a mascot give a lapdance to a fan?

I have. And some things you just can't unsee.

Like when the mascot lifted up his jersey.

Enter the Matrix

This is the best shot I got a Shawn Marion, leading a fast break after a steal.

This game showed that Marion could just be the piece that these Mavs have been sorely lacking: perimeter defense and athleticism.

I'm excited.

The New Guy

Another new addition, courtesy of the Toronto Raptors, Kris Humprhies. That's right folks, he's a whitey.

He also looks to be able to provide what the Mavs lost in Brandon Bass, tough rebounding, a good mid-range jumper and some tough low-post defense.

Not a bad lookin' fella to boot, at least according to the ladies sitting behind me.

Kiss Cam part I

Ah, the kiss cam. Nothing is better than exploiting awkwardness, especially when the two people pictured are related, platonic friends, or complete strangers.

Or, like this guy, you're just plain disgusted.

Kiss Cam, part II

And then there's this little gag. The Wizards always put members of the other team up there. I'm surprised they haven't been sued by a gay rights group (you know, like the Pet Shop boys) yet.

Sometimes they pretend to embrace, sometimes they look disgusted, and sometimes, like the picture you see before you, there's awkwardness and blushing that suggests some sort of familiarity that I don't want to know about.

After all, I've already seen a mascot give a lap dance.

The same barber?

Looks like Mike Miller is a fan of Dirk's.

His son is also named "Maverick."

Even I wouldn't go that far, mostly because my hair isn't blond, and won't grow like that.

Swing and a Miss

Rodrigue Beaubois can't lock down in time to stop Gilbert Arenas from shooting this three.

But he's still pretty good.

The Mavericks went on to win 123-115. Marion was great, Beaubois was great, and even the defense was great, though you wouldn't know it from the score.