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NFL Trade Deadline: Deals We'll Never See

Mark ScacewaterAnalyst IMay 22, 2016

It's always easy to poke fun at NFL GMs. With the trade deadline looming, here's a look at some deals that probably won't go down...

In San Diego, Chargers GM AJ Smith trades LT, Philip Rivers, and two future first-round draft picks to the Miami Dolphins for star QB Cleo Lemon.

Chargers officials cite the need for a successful, battle-tested QB who can mesh with Norv Turner's offensive system. Miami initially rebuffed an offer that included only one first-rounder.

The Chargers become instant Super Bowl contenders with Lemon at the helm.

In New England, meanwhile, the Patriots trade Randy Moss, Tom Brady, and Rodney Harrison to the Atlanta Falcons for the rights to QB Jeff George and a future sixth-round pick.

Pats officials cite "arm strength" and "longevity" in the decision to trade away the cornerstones of the franchise for the aging George.

The Indianapolis Colts trade Peyton Manning, Joseph Addai, Anthony Gonzalez, and five future first-rounders to the Tampa Bay Buccaneers for fourth-string QB Chris Simms.

Coach Dungy explains:

"It was just two years ago that Chris led his team to a 10-6 record and the NFC South crown. He is a star on the rise. Peyton is past his prime, and it's time to look towards the future."

In other news, Indianapolis signs Major Applewhite to a free agent contract. Applewhite is expected in camp next week.

The Cleveland Browns send star QB Derek Anderson to the Kansas City Chiefs for Larry Johnson, Ty Law, the jersey rights to Joe Montana, and every future first-round draft pick for the next 20 years.

After the deal, an anonymous fan is quoted as saying, "Yeah, we probably gave up too much for Derek, but he played so well that one game against Cincinnati. I understand why Carl Peterson had to pull the trigger."

IconThe New York Giants trade the rights to head coach Tom Coughlin to the Houston Comets of the WNBA for upper-level season tickets.

Giant's officials cited "rising ticket prices" as the main impetus behind the move.

It's rumored that Houston was the only WNBA team willing to give up season tickets. The next best offer was free tickets to a carnival in South Jersey.

Word on the street says Tiki Barber is the leading candidate to be Coughlin's assistant, while Dennis Rodman will be named the Director of Basketball Operations.

The Atlanta Falcons trade QB Joey Harrington and a third-round draft pick to the Chicago Bears for Rex Grossman.

Team officials for both squads thought it would be "funny to exchange sucky quarterbacks."

And finally, if the Chargers-Dolphins deal doesn't go through...

Norv Turner pulls the biggest caper of them all by trading Rivers, Tomlinson, Shawne Merriman, and Quentin Jammer for the first 12 picks of the 2008 NFL draft, with which he plans to select Notre Dame's entire offensive AND defensive lines.

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