Survivor Series Gets Makeover, HvH Round 2 (Humor)

The opening match-up is a triple-threat match for between the other half of popular tag teams.

The combatants are: Marty Jannetty, Bart Gunn, and Matt Hardy.

Jannetty, of Rockers fame, had to sit back and watch as his former tag partner Shawn Michaels go on to become the Main Event, the Showstopper, and Mr. WrestleMania.

Anybody remember Bart Gunn? Remember the Brawl for All? Remember the match with Butterbean? Billy Gunn had success with Road Dogg and DX, Bart Gunn...Bueller? Bueller?

The better all-around Hardy hasn't been able to capture the spotlight like his rainbow-hair colored sibling. Can he step up here on the big stage?

For a match of this caliber there needs to be a special referee who can relate. That's why the WWE has reached out to the brother of the face of Nintendo. Luigi has agreed to put on the zebra shirt here.

Next up is a mixed tag match. Chris Masters teams with Michelle McCool to take on Shelton Benjamin and one of them Bella Twins.

All four wrestlers, though we all know the other Bella will find a way into the match, will do their best to try to keep the fans in attendance awake.

This isn't a wrestling match folks. Seriously, who would want to see McCool, Masters, and the Bellas wrestle?

No, this is a roasting session. Whoever can keep the most fans awake as they crack jokes on each wins.

May the best of the least charismatic win.

Purple laser lights begin to flash and Mr. Poetry in Motion returns and gyrates atop the ramp. The fans, and mainly Justin Thomas, go crazy.

Jeff Hardy is back.

His opponent? A crash test dummy.

The fans are sure to see a match where both men are willing to put their bodies through any and everything to get the job done.

Vince got smart and called this exactly what many already have: The Bathroom Break.

Kelly Kelly, Layla, Eve Torres, and Maria battle in a Femme Fatale Four Way. This four way isn't like the rest though. This one lives up to the name bathroom break.

All four Divas will battle it out in the lavatory. The first woman to score a swirly on one of their opponents wins.

The PG Era will end at Gimmick Survival (smarks rejoice).

Randy Orton has vowed to punt Hornswoggle not just out of the WWE, but out of the universe (pun intended).

The Friday night before Hell in a Cell we were given what was the biggest eight-man tag match in SmackDown! history.

This PPV, we will witness the biggest eight-man tag in WWE history.

Yokozuna, Big Daddy V, Big Show, and King Kong Bundy takes on the team of Andre the Giant, Mark Henry, The Great Khali, and Kane.

*A reminder that the WWE spared no expense to put this show on. McMahon sprung for researchers to bring back wrestlers from the grave for this bad boy.

The biggest beer guzzler in WWE's history returns for that one last match. Tired of hearing CM Punk preach about being straight-edge, Stone Cold Steve Austin has vowed to stomp a mudhole into the two-time Money in the Bank winner.

Punk states that defeating Austin will surpass what he has done so far. Having the opportunity to pick the stipulation, Punk decided on an "I Quit" match.

This match will have a Special Enforcer: Jake Roberts. How apropos right?

Forget Iron Man, John Cena and Superman will battle in a Man of Steel match. Both men will be housed inside a steel cage, surrounded by a Hell in a Cell, all enclosed within a modified Elimination Chamber.

Michael Cole has made up some redunkolous number to describe the pounds of steel this match holds.

Cena hopes to adjust the attitude of the man who hasn't had a more challenging opponent since Doomsday.

Batista was scheduled to take part in a match but once again ended up on the injured list.

It's highly rumored that Edge might return and find a way to interject himself in every match to steal the victory. That has yet to be proven, though.

Readers can follow up this claim by seeking out the master of breaking news, the superstar himself. :-)

**What you have read is fiction. The views within this slideshow DO represent the views of Hit the Ropes Radio. You can catch Shane on HTR every Wednesday at 6 PM (ET).**

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