EPL Team of the Week
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It was an educating weekend in the Premiership. Amongst other things, Arsenal learnt how to win ugly, Sunderland learned how to win using only their strikers, Blackburn learnt how to win with ten men and Chelsea finally learned what losing is.
So who made the OFFICIAL BLEACHER REPORT (TM)(C)(R)(^_^) team of the week? That's right, I've decided it's official now and to celebrate this, I have ditched my very capable but uncharismatic usual sidekick Ben Oram and instead have enlisted the help of Chelsea legend, international playboy, stand-up comedian and current Inter Milan manager, Jose Mourinho.
GK - Vito Mannone
Arsenal's 21-year old keeper really faced a premiership baptism of fire against Fulham on Saturday. With the West Londoners taking advantage of a shaky defence almost from the start of the game, there was not a moment the young keeper could afford to make a mistake.
The match stats speak for themselves, with the Italian being called on to deal with 12 shots on target compared to Arsenal's meager four. Amongst others Mannone provided a great, if somewhat fortunate double save from Andy Johnson and Clint Dempsey.
It was no surprise then, that it was the goalkeeper the Arsenal players, including solitary goalscorer Van Persie, made a beeline for after the final whistle.
Jose Mourinho says:
"Young players are little bit like melons. Only when you open and taste the melon are you 100 per cent sure that the melon is good.
Sometimes you have beautiful melons but they don’t taste very good and some other melons are a bit ugly and when you open them, the taste is fantastic… One thing is youth football, one thing is professional football. The bridge is a difficult one to cross and they have to play with us and train with us for us to taste the melon.
The way Vito Mannone played, we know the melon we have.”
RB - Christopher Samba
Chris Samba was used as an emergency striker by Sam Allerdyce last season and it looks as though old habits die hard.
Down from an Agbonlahor goal after three minutes, Blackburn Rovers knew that they would have to dig deep for victory and Samba eventually poked home an equaliser after a hard fought twenty minutes.
The tide of fortune then turned against Blackburn once more, forcing them down to ten men after Vincenzo Grella saw red.
Here Samba was called on for his defensive capabilities and he was stalwart in defence. His tough handling of a eclectic and talented Villa attack comprising Agbonlahor, Carew Young and Milner kept his team in contention and was the platform from which Rovers finally won the game.
Jose Mourinho says:
“I don’t say Blackburn are a defensive team. I say they are a strong team in defensive terms, but at the same time lacking sufficient fluidity in attack.”
CB - Nemanja Vidic
Last season, Manchester United were one of the few top European sides that could afford not to play a set defensive midfielder against the others. The reason was the rock solid partnership between Vidic and Ferdinand.
These two would snuff out almost anything that came their way (except those called Torres) and allow the midfield to get on with the job of retaining possession/creating chances.
Although a lot of credit also has to be given to Darren Fletcher, Vidic gave a defensive master-class on Saturday, called on to deal with a physical Stoke side playing in an intimidating stadium, the Serbian didn't even break a sweat.
With defenders, it isn't so much what you do on the ball as what you do off it and in this regard his positioning was on top form. Vidic wasn't afraid to give back exactly what the Stoke players gave him in terms of their physical side. Eventually, beating them at their own game.
A good performance by the Manchester United centre-back was even more important following a poor run of form from fellow defender Ferdinand.
Jose Mourinho says:
“Vidic knows how to defend well. The moral of the story is not to listen to those who tell you not to play the violin but stick to the tambourine.”
CB - Titus Bramble
The word mercurial doesn't begin to describe Titus Bramble. The man is a veritable spectrum of footballing ability, capable of the shoddy to the sublime sometimes even in the same match.
Luckily for the Latics, it was more the case of the latter on Saturday.
The centre back first came into action on the other end of the pitch, rising splendidly to bury a Charles N'Zogbia cross into the back of the blues net.
The man then stayed back to form a near invisible wall with team-mate Emmerson Boyce to repel the languid Chelsea attack.
Jose Mourinho says:
“Titus Bramble is like having a blanket that is too small for the bed. You pull the blanket up to keep your chest warm and your feet stick out. I cannot buy a bigger blanket becuase the supermarket is closed. But I am content because the blanket is cashmere. It is no ordinary blanket.”
LB - Johnny Heitinga
Like Samba and Bramble, Johnny Heitinga was a bit of a double-edged sword for Everton. His lofted pass from the halfway line became an assist to the sublime Louis Saha goal which provided the difference between the two sides on the day.
Additionally, the Dutchman then helped out an increasingly overwhelmed Everton defence, which only just managed to weather a south coast storm. A key man in the toffee's win.
RMF - Yossi Benayoun
Although Torres was deservedly the poster boy for a 6-1 drubbing of Hull City, Benayoun also deserves a mention, especially after providing two of the assists for the crucial early goals.
With the departure of Xabi Alonso to Real Madrid, Liverpool have needed to learn a new way of playing football and after a few weeks on the learning curve, Benitez seems to have cracked it and Benayoun has become a lynch pin in his new formation.
The Israeli international has brought a great creativity to the right wing of the Reds attack, often combining with full-back Johnson to provide menacing crosses for Torres, Kuyt and Gerrard.
Additionally, the winger has made full use of his superb dribbling to give Liverpool an additional attacking threat. All of these attributes were up there for any to see this weekend.
Jose Mourinho says:
"When you go to the stadiums, the atmosphere is so beautiful that maybe you don’t feel so much the importance of the game. But Yossi remembered.
In the Champions League semi-final 2005, I felt the power of Anfield, it was magnificent. The crowd was magnificent, singing “F**k off Mourinho!” and so on…”
CMF - Paul Scharner
The Austrian is undoubtedly Wigan's creative force and everything they did right against Chelsea can be linked to him.
He was on top form and gave a complete midfield performance, disrupting Chelsea's attack in his own half and making attempts on Petr Cech and later Henrico Hilario's goal in the other.
Scharner's injury-time goal would have just been the icing on the cake of a great performance.
Jose Mourinho says:
“Everybody was waiting for Chelsea not to win every game and one day, we lose, there will be a holiday in the country.
I am more than unhappy. Unhappy is a nice word.”
LMF - Ryan Giggs
The Manchester United legend could not have made a bigger nor better statement about the difference he makes for the Red Devils than coming off the bench to provide both the assists in a 2-0 scoreline.
The Welshman reinforced the point of how much United rely on his enduring quality even at the age of 35.
His first contribution was a low cross to Dimitar Berbatov just inside the six box, who promptly slotted home and ran across to thank the winner. Giggs then grabbed an assist with a free kick to a John O'Shea header which made the three points safe for United.
Jose Mourinho says:
“It is omelettes and eggs. No eggs - no omelettes! It depends on the quality of the eggs. In the supermarket you have class one, two or class three eggs and some are more expensive than others and some give you better omelettes.”
FW - Robbie Keane
Robbie Keane's four goals against a lacklustre Burnley may end up being one of the highlights of his entire Spurs career. He joins a list of only a select Premiership few, which include the likes of Ian Wright, Andy Cole, Robbie Fowler, and most recently, Andrei Arshavin.
His first was a coolly taken penalty after Bikey took down Jermaine Defoe. But he saved his best for the second half, when the Irishman rifled in a side-footed shot 15-yards out into the goal roof, connecting with Aaron Lennon's cross. He then added with another and squeezed his fourth off the post in the last minutes of the game.
But the amazing thing was that Keane could have got more had it not been for a valiant display by Jensen. Additionally, the Spurs' forward was crucial in linking up play with the midfield, often his creativity enabled them a shot on goal, or just some space to move.
Jose Mourinho says:
“Tottenham have a great club. But in 125 years of history they have won the title only twice. I have been managing for a few years and I have already won the same amount.”
FW - Fernando Torres
Liverpool's recent good run of form has everything to do with Fernando Torres. At the season's start he was absent, uncreative, languid and his performances generally lacking, words which could also his team during those times.
Recently however, Torres has rediscovered his magical touch, magical dribbling and cool finishing. This was all on display at Anfield on Saturday, where the European Champion played through the Hull defence like they weren't even there.
The Spaniard started on mazy runs in the box, and could fall back onto a sharpness which included a quick change of feet, or simply shooting with the outside of his right foot in order to overwhelm Hull's centre backs.
Jose Mourinho says:
“He is someone I respect as a man and as a player. He has been a European champion. I have never been critical of him and reports implying that are incorrect as I’ve never made comments about him except that he needs a haircut.”
CF - Kenwyne Jones
Sunderland probably deserved to lose on Sunday but ended up scoring five. Steve Bruce probably said it best when he credited his strikers for 'giving us a get out of jail free card'.
The striking partnership made up for the poor performance of their team-mates, with Kenwyne Jones finally stepping out of the Darren Bent's shadow to finally stand along side him.
The confidence it seems stems from the West Indian striking home a penalty his partner won. Jones then went on to drill home a shot from over 20 yards out into the bottom left of the Wolves net.
His link-up play was also superb, providing the perfect foil for Bent and he often just shrugged off the Wolverhampton defenders.
Jose Mourinho says:
"Sometimes even the best strikers need confidence, it is fact. I speak facts. If not, I need big glasses”
Team of the Week
So there it is. Mine and José's team of the week, have I missed anyone or maybe mentioned the wrong person? As always your views and opinion are welcome.
If you liked this, check out the next slideshow:
The 20 Funniest Football Chants Ever
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