With the NBA implementing fines for flopping next year, we thought of a few fines we'd like to see created in the NFL.
We've already got fines for hitting QBs and collaring people by their horses, but you will now be fined for the following things:
- You do the little "throw the flag" dance after some CB brushes you
- You call a fake audible, and you're not Peyton Manning
- You hire Bryant Gumbel to do anything involving the NFL
- The phrase "I think Ricky Williams is ready to play this year" crosses your lips
- You catch yourself singing along to "This is My Country"
- Your chica's booty weighs more than you can rush for in a game
- You line Roy Williams up at safety
- Roy Williams covers you for an entire play
- You wear white Michael Jackson gloves
- Your name is Chris Berman
- You give Tom Brady a dirty look
- You allow Mercury Morris to speak
- You say the word "disrespect" more than once a month
- You celebrate quarterback "hits," even on completions
Please add your own in the comments below!
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4 months ago
I Hate that commercial!
4 months ago
That's pretty funny, James. Keep it up!
4 months ago
If your name is Shawn Merriman and you get blocked by Jones-Drew.
from 4 months ago
Best. Block. Ever.
4 months ago
ahahaha hilarious james!!
4 months ago
If you are featured in more than two commercials in a single year.
from 4 months ago
Damn, Peyton Manning would be broke, and that is no small feat.
from 4 months ago
Thats a great one... I can't believe I missed a chance to stick it to Peyton
4 months ago
Good job.
4 months ago
id like to fine bleacher report for all the oakland raider bias and nuthugging.
from 4 months ago
hahahahahahaha
4 months ago
Nicely done, James. Fines for proclaiming that virtually every player is "one of the best in the game" at their position. Fines for using weasel words/terms, such as "We decided to go in a different direction" when firing a head coach. Fines (well, this one's a pre-emptive warning) should any cookie manufacturer decide to do an ad campaign remotely close to and as obnoxious as the Oreo Double Stuf Racing League that featured the Manning brothers.
4 months ago
Playing Joey Harrington.
Or actually following one of Peyton Mannings pep talks.
4 months ago
Your first name is an arcade game.
from 4 months ago
Would Tiger Woods fall under that?
4 months ago
no i meant like pacman for instance
from 4 months ago
I know...I was kidding. Tiger Woods Golf...never mind.
4 months ago
This one may not be an NFL related incident but ESPN deserves to be fined for actually bothering to cover the Scripps National Spelling Bee... I mean that's not even close to being a sport.
from 4 months ago
Entertainment and
Sports
Programming
Network
The spelling bee is very entertaining, and I watched it last night on ABC.
from 4 months ago
touche, I should've said that ESPN should be fined for their constant coverage of stupid tabloid stories like spygate etc. it's one thing to cover the story but ESPN lived, breathed, and shat spygate for three months after the super bowl.
from 4 months ago
ESPN started the whole media blow-up... if the Arizona Cardinals did this it would have been 4th page news and they would have lost a 3rd round pick at most.
from 4 months ago
Won uv u gize shood half mispeled sumthing.
4 months ago
Good, but you failed to mention the picture you used--the Merriman sack dance is even more egregious than Gastineau's (yeah, I'm that old).
4 months ago
MJ - See last one in the list.
4 months ago
Personally i think that the Ravens should be fined about 30 mil
4 months ago
I love the David Carr comment about the gloves, I'm from Charlotte and NY you just got a Giant treat in having DC on your roster.
4 months ago
Attempting to poke Vince Wilforks finger using your eye.
4 months ago
How about a fine for "comment begging", as in ending an article asking people to respond to it (which, if the article is any good, or at least controversial, they'll do so anyway)?
from 4 months ago
Wow Deof - two nasty comments on my last two articles. Glad I made a fan!
4 months ago
Whatever of my comment did you find "nasty"? It was a jest, a jape, a joke... a friendly "gotcha at your own game" said with a wink and a smile rather than a serious slam.
As for the other matter, I assume you're referring to my response to http://bleacherreport.com/articles/24439-Arlen-Specter-Reportedly-Exhumes-Mistreats-Eight-Belles-200508 . If so, I believe your assessment to be erroneous. First, the response wasn't directed directly at you; second, it was a mere restatement of the facts as I saw them without even a hint of personal attack. That Goodell greatly downplayed the extent and the impact of the videotaping when he announced the punishment, somehow was able to determine, in a feat worthy of Ms. Cleo, what sanctions to impose before he officially viewed the tapes, and then proceeded to destroy them almost immediately afterward on such the flimsy pretext that he didn't want them to create an unfair advantage for future opponents (as if the teams that were taped, even if they hadn't changed their signals since then, couldn't do so now) scream at an attempt to simply sweep the matter under the rug. Furthermore, his claim that the NFL hasn't learned of any new allegations since he penalized the Patriots on one hand, and his claims during his SB pressers (quotes obtained from http://www.nfl.com/news/story;jsessionid=87DCAC67E2A6287CC7DF5BD696EA44F1?id=09000d5d80851fb8) that he "believe[s] there were six tapes..., some... from the pre-season in 2007, and the rest were primarily in the lat [sic] 2006 season" and that he "think[s] it probably had a limited effect, if any effect, on the outcome on any game" on the other hand, cannot both be true. If the former is correct, than Goodell knew at the time he made these statements that they were a gross misrepresentation of the facts (or, in common parlance, he lied through his teeth), which calls the adequacy of his original judgment into question. If it is allowed to stand, I believe it sets a dangerous precedent by allowing those who potentially gained from cheating to avoid suffering penalties greater than the derived benefit, which only encourages further cheating.
4 months ago
I read this one a few days ago, but I had to read it again. And it still cracks me up!
4 months ago
You forgot to mention being fined for talking about, discussing, or even referencing Michael Vick or Cedric Benson's actions. I was tired about the Vick thing always being on the news and I dont care about Cedric's DUI's.. all media should be fined for every second discussed about these characters.
By the way, feel free to fine me but I believe the song is "This is our country." This, by no means, shows my true feelings about this song - I've just heard it way to much.
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