Ladies and gentlemen, if I'm anything, I'm a man of my word.  I told you there would be a return of the Swagger Report.  I promised that the Swagometer would be in full swing this season. 

Well Hurricane fans, here it is, what you've all been waiting for, The Swagger Report is back in town. 

OK, maybe that open was a bit self- serving, but hey, that's what it's all about isn't it?  If you have something, you might as well show it off.  Whether it's a cliche idea for a series of articles or an affinity for throwing clutch touchdowns, swagger can be found in all walks of life. 

It just so happens that a good portion of it has tended to pop up in Coral Gables, Florida every autumn. 

But that's all the fluff you'll get from this piece, let's get right down to business.  What I have for you is a full reading of the Swagometer, but first, how about the five most Swaggerful moments of the young season?

5. Jacory Harris to Travis Benjamin along the sideline.

When Harris released that pass, while escaping pressure and moving up-field towards the line of scrimmage, Hurricane fans across the country held their breath. 

When that throw settled oh, so softly into the double-covered hands of Travis Benjamin, the fans used that held breath to let out a series of "WOOOH"s that woke up countless parents and spouses across this great nation.

If this is the game that convinced the world Jacory Harris was for real, that's the play that hammered the point home.  I'm fairly sure they called for the replay not because Benji's foot was close, but because they just wanted to see that sweet, sweet throw one more time.

4. Jordan Futch says lights out to Steve Sylvester.

If you're a Hurricane fan and didn't hop out of your seat when you saw Jordan Futch's complete demolition of Georgia Tech's Steve Sylvester, then I openly question your fan-hood.  Everyone loves a good blasting of a defenseless player on a kickoff, it's what the best highlight reels are made of. 

In fact, I really have trouble figuring out the most swaggerish part of the whole incident.  Of course, the hit itself was pretty good.  Perhaps even better was the flexing he did while his teammates were jumping all around him coming off the field. 

But, the best was the scene later on when the ESPN cameras panned over to Futch and friends on the sidelines.  After showing the hit for the 42nd time, they gave a wide shot of Futch, Ramon Buchanan, and a good portion of the 2nd team defense mugging for the camera.  As more Canes hopped into the fray, the camera lingered, which led to a total of about 20 seconds of orange clad football players throwing up the U and yelling things I really wish I could have heard.

3. Matt Bosher's Personal Foul. 

Let me get this out of the way, I love Matt Bosher.  He is the kicker equivalent of a man's man.  A kicker's man... Or a man's kicker... I don't know, but he's it.  He's the kind of player that probably spent his time off the field as a youngster impressing girls by kicking soccer balls at the school's windows during recess.

That said, was it smart that he hit Greg Reid a little (ok, ridiculously) late?  No, not really, but it was awesome.  So many years football fans have been taught that kickers are intended only to fan on embarrassing attempts at tackling or get juked out of their shoes by Devin Hester.  Not Matt Bosher. 

Bosher's just as likely to blast a returner as Jordan Futch, if only just because he's probably the craziest man on the coverage team.  If he makes a few dumb plays here and there?  Fine, I'm just happy to know that if push comes to shove, the 'Canes kicker is a badass.

2. Vaughn Telemaque's end over end tackle on Roddy Jones.

Now, first I should make it clear that unlike the Futch hit, this wasn't a celebratory moment for me when the hit happened.  Any time a kid lands on his head it's a terrifying moment, the same goes for Jevarris James a bit earlier in the game. That said, knowing that Roddy Jones popped up so quickly, it can be talked up.

All summer 'Canes fans had to hear about this kid Telemaque, and how he's the next big thing at safety for Miami.  He was having himself a pretty strong debut game until this gem etched itself in the lexicon of sweet moments in Hurricane history. 

I don't really know for sure how that even physically happened, but I suppose Vaughn just hit Jones with enough force square on the bottom of his legs to send him flying, Ferris Wheel style.

1. Jacory's Stare.

I don't know what was colder, the icy stare that Jacory had as he surveyed the fray as his teammate (twice) spilled onto the field to celebrate their victory over Florida State, or the shiver down my spine when I saw it. 

Even as I criss-crossed the room, fist pumping wildly, I almost wanted to just stop and nod me head knowingly, as if it was never in doubt. Jacory had the same look in that game as when I'm picking out what flavor of toothpaste to buy at Target. 

The best part of the whole scene is that everyone can have their own interpretation of why Jacory did what he did.  In my mind Jacory, ever one to put on a show, knew exactly what that type of reaction would mean to his fans. 

That win meant a lot to the program, but eleven more would be a lot better, and that's what I pulled from Jacory's moments of stoicism.  That, and Jacory is going to be something very special. 

And now, the Swagometer.  I'll rank up some of the players in the system of swagger based on what we've seen so far this year and the guidelines I set out way back in my first story.  (http://bleacherreport.com/articles/222480-the-swag-report-swagometrics-101).  That said, let's get down to business...

One U:  The Cokers. 

Only one Cane can honestly fall into this category, and it's not really that fair.  Alex Uribe's play in the Georgia Tech game sadly places him in this category.  While not exactly the reason for the downfall of a dynasty like the level's namesake, Uribe was comically bad. 

Two U's:  The Kirbys. 

No, not that cute little fluffy warrior from your game-boy collection, rather it's the one and only Kirby Freeman.  This level of swagger is reserved for big shots that never panned out, and right now it's looking a lot like there's none of that on the roster this year. 

Guys like Reggie Youngblood and Romeo Davis have finally and mercifully reached the ends of their Miami careers, and we are in a whole new age of prospects coming to Coral Gables.  Perhaps with the official end of the Coker regime, so ends the Kirbys?

I will say this though, Marcus Forston needs to keep his weight in check and boost his endurance, or he'll be in serious danger of this area.

Three U's:  The Quads. 

Ah, perhaps my favorite group of them all, the Quads.  Young men who, like former Hurricane fullback Quadtrine Hill, played a valuable role, but one that kept them firmly outside the spotlight. 

Patrick Hill belongs on the list, same position as Quad, though a bit different in the old frame.  Hill's a bulky fellow, but still manages to make the lives of Jevarris James and Graig Cooper a lot easier.

Matt Pipho has emerged to find himself in this grouping too.  Not a star by any means, but looked like one with the way he made Derrick Morgan pull a vanishing act in the Georgia Tech game. 

Others that have found themselves into the Quads so far:  TE Jimmy Graham, OG Harland Gunn, DE Olivier Vernon (on his way up though), LB Daryl Sharpton, S Randy Phillips.  The latter two were in danger of hitting Kirby level before coming up with solid seasons so far. 

Four U's: The Hesters. 

The definition of a Hester is a player very close to stardom, but not quite there.  It's a group that in the past had a number of quality veterans that just couldn't make the next step, but these days is filled with young players just waiting their turn. 

Travis Benjamin and LaRon Byrd are two wideouts that are sitting on the ledge of this class.  Both have made their presence felt in the form of long TDs and key receptions, now they just need to add season-long consistency to their repertoire. 

Sean Spence started the season a level up to be honest, but something just hasn't been quite right this year.  Whether its just a tough adjustment to a new system or maybe some struggles living up to expectations, he's got to get it going for this defense to be at its best. 

Others of note:  OT Jason Fox, TE Dedric Epps, RB Jevarris James, LB Colin McCarthy.

Five U's.  The Taylors. 

Named after the late great Sean Taylor, this is for that special type of player.  The kind of player that can change a game at any time, and take over the whole thing whenever he feels like it.  Great players like Clinton Portis, Andre Johnson, Jeremy Shockey, Ed Reed, and Warren Sapp have all worn this tag proudly, much like the following players do themselves.

Jacory Harris, the keeper of the swagger.  Maybe the most swagger that's even possible for the quarterback position exists in this lanky kid from Miami.  From the suits and haircuts, to the outlandish comments, to the icy manner, Harris has it all. 

Graig Cooper is a man that many may think is still not yet there, but I think has truly arrived in 2009.  The kid just isn't your typical number one back, rather he's a wild-card that provides a dynamic option for the offense and special teams.

Now for the surprise man on the list, Brandon Harris.  Harris has been a stud this season for the Hurricanes, which is exactly what that secondary has needed.  Key plays in both games and a knack for the dramatic makes for a potential shut down corner. 

There you go fans, the perfect article to wake up to on gameday, or the best way to fall asleep at night.  Thanks for reading, and let's hope we have a few more names to add to the list by Sunday.