You are not going to win the Powerball lottery.
Somebody will, but that person will not be you. And that's OK.
Because winning the $1.5 billion (and rising) payoff at stake right now is a one-in-292-million chance, and that means a lot of things are more likely to happen before you, personally, win enough money to buy a pro sports franchise.
To drive home this point, the good people at MLB.com's Cut 4 have crunched the numbers and come up with several baseball scenarios that illustrate just how infinitesimal the chances are of buying the winning ticket.
The most compelling piece of data? New York Mets pitcher Bartolo Colon is more likely to hit a pitch and then outrun an entire professional defense for an inside-the-parker than you are to win the Powerball.
Bartolo is more likely to hit an inside-the-parker than you are to win the #Powerball: https://t.co/cf22wQGDRU https://t.co/lZOFnUCtVW2016-1-13 13:20:23
This isn't to diminish Colon, who at the age of 42 still possesses deceptive, unpredictable crab speed. He's basically a SPARQ reaction ball with legs.
But seeing Colon's chances of an inside-the-parker listed at just under 40,000-1 does give you a good idea of just how sparse your odds are at winning the big payday. Even Bryce Harper's going yard five times in a game—a ridiculous feat but definitely not something you'd consider impossible—goes off at over 16,000-1.
So yeah. Buy tickets if you want, but just know your money could be put toward attending a game in which you're more likely to see Colon run the bases like a human soup tureen and make it all the way home.
Dan is on Twitter. He will be at the Bartolo Colon insider game. He must be.