I wasn’t going to do a "running diary"-type of deal for tonight’s game. It just kind of happened, starting with the beginning of the second quarter.
I love reading, but hate writing these things.
The inevitable Bill Simmons-comparisons and the even more inevitable Bill Simmons-wannabe comments are, most of the time, too annoying to deal with.
But the spacebar on my keyboard is broken (at this point, I’ve ripped off the spacebar and I’m jamming my finger into a small hole and pushing a little rubber thing to make spaces), and since it would have taken me five hours to write this anyway, I’m going with it.
We pick things up four minutes into the second quarter…
9:21 PM EST: I want this on the record: This is the worst officiating I’ve ever seen. Ever.
1) Missed goal-tend to end the first quarter.
2) Clear path foul that wasn’t a clear path.
3) Flagrant foul that wasn’t flagrant.
4) Terrible call on a clean P.J. Brown block.
5) Three second violation on P.J. Brown that wasn’t close.
The Celtics are down by four. If they lose, you can look back at this four minute sequence as the reason.
The NBA officiating has been inexcusably bad this postseason.
From the Lakers-Spurs game the other night, to whatever the heck is going on in Boston tonight….it’s been completely ridiculous.
Wouldn’t it be fantastic if David Stern’s dream finals was never realized because of his inability to find decent officials?
9:28 PM EST: Also on record: Ray Allen and Sam Cassell, the way they’re playing right now, are barely NBA bench players.
On the Miami Heat.
Ray Allen has been the worst player on the floor all night…except for the few minutes Sam Cassell was in the game.
9:39 PM EST: My keyboard is broken, the spacebar sticks. Because of this, my blood pressure is at an extremely unhealthy level right now.
In lieu of smashing my keyboard, I just threw my cat across the room.
I feel slightly better.
There is nothing more frustrating than watching NBA refs while trying to type on a broken keyboard.
PS: the refs just missed another out-of-bounds call.
9:48 PM EST: Banked a three? Are you kidding me?
The Celtics rebounded well, literally and figuratively, at the end of the second quarter.
The fact that they’re up by six after that stretch of piss-poor officiating is a miracle. The Pistons can’t be happy with where the score is right now.
Perkins, by the way, has been a monster so far tonight…
Useless Halftime Stat: The Red Sox and Celtics are a combined two-and-fifteen in their last seventeen road games.
10:12 PM EST: I’m extremely stressed out right now.
I need the Celtics to go on a 20-4 run so my heart doesn’t explode.
Pierce and Garnett are from this point on being referred to in this column as the Big Two, by the way.
10:15 PM EST: OK, maybe we’ll stick with the Big Three. But Perkins is the third member of the group, not Allen.
10:23 PM EST: Ever since I kicked Ray Allen out of the Big Three, he’s been playing fantastic.
10:33 PM EST: As the Celtics have done all post-season, they had a chance to put the Pistons away and let off the gas.
This team just lacks any kind of killer instinct.
They need to close out the third quarter strong, then play a great first few minutes of the fourth quarter. This crap about letting the Pistons, who are a much better fourth quarter team than the Celtics, stay in the game is driving me crazy.
Put them away!
10:35 PM EST: It’s possible that the NBA officials read the earlier part of this column and have spent most of the third quarter trying to make it up to the Celtics.
Perkins clearly fouled Rip Hamilton and got away with it, but it was all worth it to see Perk on the break away…
10:58 PM EST: The Celtics have once again allowed the Pistons back in the game, as Detroit has gone into “let's foul them over and over and over again and eventually the refs will stop calling it” mode.
It’s amazing how well this has worked.
Of course, it’d help if the Celtics would quit throwing the ball to the blue jerseys…
11:02 PM EST: Garnett is going to get his ass kicked out of the Big Three if he passes up another open shot from inside the paint. The Big Three will be down to Pierce, Perkins, and Eddie House.
Unselfishness will be the Celtics’ undoing. Garnett needs to shoot the damn ball. This game shouldn’t be close right now.
Six minutes left, I’m officially worried.
11:06 PM EST: A travel? Are you kidding me?
Are you frigging kidding me????
I take back what I said about the third quarter makeup calls. These guys are just terrible, and the huge calls are going against the Celtics.
There have been bad calls against the Pistons, but not the BIG calls. Those have all gone against the Celtics.
11:13 PM EST: Holy crap, I’m gonna pass out.
Six point lead, Garnett going to the line, just over four minutes left.
I hate close games against the Pistons. It seems like everyone in Detroit can drain a clutch three pointer when needed.
PS: Here’s hoping Wallace gets his seventh technical tonight.
PPS: My kicking him out of the Big Three might have saved Ray Allen’s career.
11:18 PM EST: Apparently Rip’s mask won’t pass for safety glasses.
By the way, the mark of a good coach: only one timeout left in a close game in the playoffs with three minutes left.
Way to go, Flip!
11:21 PM EST: Billups just jump kicked Rondo on the shot, so obviously the refs rewarded him by sending him to the line for three foul shots.
The NBA is FANTASTIC!
Technical foul on Perkins…………
I couldn’t write what I just said. Family website and all.
God damn officials.
11:24 PM EST: Four point lead…big rebound for Pierce.
And the officials have taken over the game.
Pierce needs to make his free-throws, Rondo needs to calm the hell down.
AND ANOTHER FOUL!
Ladies and gentlemen….three minutes of basketball, three hours of free throws!
One possession game. I’m not liking this at all.
11:27 PM EST: The Celtics are losing this game at the free throw line.
11:28 PM EST: One point game….can’t type right now… I’ll be back when this one’s over.
11:43 PM EST: Game over, Celtics win. I’m going to smash this keyboard into a million pieces, then I’m going to bed.
I feel like the Celtics looked in that fourth quarter…absolutely spent.
Sean Crowe is a Senior Writer at Bleacher Report. You can email him at email@example.com. His archive can be found here. You can find everything he writes, including articles for other publications, here