My 100th Article, Bow to My Superiority
It's been creeping up on me for the past month or so. The 100th article. It's been a year since I joined B/R, and I always assumed I would reach 100 articles. Now that it has finally arrived, I must take a moment to acknowledge the magnitude of this achievement.
The 100th article is the biggest article. Because it's the last time you'll change digits. I mean, unless you reach 1,000, in which case you just need to get a job.
For awhile I have been pondering...what should my 100th article should be about?
Should I go the way of my ego and write an article on how glorious the last 99 have been? Nah. (But they were.)
Should I get all sentimental and write an article on how the last 99 have changed my life? Nah, I'm not a liar.
Perhaps I should start giving credit to all those who have helped me get where I am? Nah, but I do have to give a shoutout to our friend T.W. Krems.
Aha! I know, I will write an article with no real plot, focus, or cohesion. Perfect.
Prepare for a whiplash around the world of sports, B/R, celebrity, and life in general.
First off, I have the deepest respect for all the writers in the Wrestling Community; they actually write really good articles about a "sport" as real as MTV reality shows.
Did anyone else notice how we all kind of forgot about Spygate? Or how Roger Goodell never discussed the tapes after watching them once. Makes you really wonder what he found inside the Patriots organization....
Why is everyone in love with Notre Dame? They haven't been good my entire life, so why is it that every year people are predicting 10 or more wins? They suck. Accept it.
After watching the VMA awards, I have come to the conclusion that mainstream music today is no longer about music, it is about shows and lights. Lady GaGa actually is the worst artist I have ever heard. In fact, I refuse to call her an "artist" anymore, she is nothing more than an untalented, horribly dressed, plastic bimbo.
Now for my beef with golf....
I realize golf is probably the most widely played sport by middle aged men with careers. The same middle aged men who run shows like SportsCenter. Therefore, they actually give a rats ass about a sport that involves zero athletic maneuvers.
Personally, I hope I get into golf when I'm older, maybe then I'll understand how people find it exciting.
Baseball, you aren't getting off that easy....
My friend Ricardo put it best, some people have to be born to watch baseball. It is a gentlemen's game.
Yes, it certainly is a "gentle" man's game.
I'm not saying baseball doesn't take skill; hell I think hitting a baseball is one of the hardest things to do in all of sports. I am just saying...baseball games take around three hours to finish. Of those three hour broadcasts, MAYBE 45 minutes is the actual game. And of those 45 minutes, MAYBE 10 of them are exciting.
Throw it in, along with golf, in the bin that reads: "Sports that are only fun if you play them."
Why do people get pissed off when they get cut-off in traffic? I know that when I cut people off I tell them to get over it. It's just how the road works....
Why do people actually hate Brett Favre? All this crap about him flip-flopping is just people watching too much ESPN. If you actually watch enough ESPN all day to say "Damn, I'm tired of hearing about Brett Favre." You need to find something else on TV.
Nmandi Asomouga is awesome. He's the only player on the Raiders I wish wasn't on the Raiders.
Why doesn't the BCS make sense? Seriously. I can't think of one reason to argue why the BCS makes any sense at all.
Adrian Peterson should write an apology to the Browns defense for doing what he did to them on Sunday. I mean, did you see that run? Complete disrespect for human life.
Then there's this whole deal with Michael Jackson. I respect his legacy and what he did for music, but people are going overboard. An hour before he died, most people didn't give two shits about him and probably couldn't name more than five songs of his. Now that he is dead he is the King of Pop again, not a child molester?
Jennifer's Body has the chance to be the worst movie of the summer. Let's hope Megan Fox is hot enough to make up for the lack of sensible/entertaining plot.
Articles of the day (formerly known as Pick of the day) have lost their prestige. I can't remember the last time an AOTD actually had to do with sports. Nowadays the contest for AOTD is just who can write the saddest, most touching story that will earn pity votes from people.
The Beatles are the greatest band/musicians in the history of modern music. Thirteen albums in seven years, all 13 of them world famous classics. More chart topping singles than I can even name, and music that will ring through the ears of many generations to come.
Twitter is the first horseman of the apocalypse. As of right now we are only at one, of course if Lady GaGa continues to sing...that may change....
I close my epic 100th article with this awesome quote from The Last Samurai.
"You want me to kill japos? I'll kill japos. You want me to kill the enemies of japos? I'll kill the enemies of japos. Sioux, Cheyenne, Cherokee, for 500 dollars a month I'll kill whoever you tell me to. But, keep one thing in mind. I'd happily kill you for free."
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