NFL Week 1: The Ready and Not-so-Ready for Primetime QBs

Why is this man laughing?

With a QB rating of 140.6, three TDs, zero INTs, a 59.3 COMP percentage and a W for the 'Boyz in the first game, he has earned that laugh.

Even without Jessica in her pink No. 9 Jersey to cheer him on.

Way to go, Tony!

Caption: You mean I just threw six TDs today?

Really?

Huh!

That's right, six TDs, one INT, 76.5 COMP percentage, a 137.0 QB rating, and a W for the Saints.

Not a bad day's work.

And an uncanny resemblance to Owen Wilson, don'tchya think?

I know, not a pretty picture, but neither was the game.

Even though Croyle had a QB rating of 116.1, two TDs, no INTs, and a 66.7 COMP percentage, the Chiefs were.....well, still the Chiefs.

And hung Brodie with a big L for his efforts.

A gutsy performance by a class guy—and the Bills ALMOST pulled it off. Edwards had two TDs, zero INTs, a 60 COMP percentage, and a QB rating of 114.1.

Normally a cause to jump for joy, but not with a L on the schedule for the first game, even if it was a great effort.

For those of you that will comment that this is not Kyle Orton, settle down!

This is actually a head shot of Brandon Stokley.

Because without his miracle 87-yard grab of a tipped pass for a last-minute TD jaunt to rip the hearts out of the Bungles' faithful, there would be no No. 5 ranking for Mr. Orton nor a W for the Broncos.

Take that 87 yards off and the resulting TD, Orton would have been closer to the bottom of the ratings this week. But he did finish with a 100.7 QB rating, one TD, zero INTs, and a 60.7 COMP percentage.

Kyle, buy Brandon a nice thank you gift, OK?

Hmmm, a pick, no TD, and a 55.9 QB rating won't usually get it done. And against the Jets and a rookie QB, it didn't.

Chalk this up to a poorly prepared team on both sides of the ball and a pitiful performance by Schaub, and that L is now on the books against the J-E-T-S.

No, this is NOT J-Russ's butt, his wouldn't fit into the picture. Plus, I like this one much better.

For a guy well over 270 lbs. and with the happiest feet of anyone this side of Fred Astaire, his QB rating of 47.6 was well-earned.

Between the ineptness of his WRs and his frequent inability to put the football within the same area code as his receivers, he had a 40 COMP percentage, one TD, one INT, and probably a 20 lb. slab of ribs to drown out the feeling of being jobbed into another L.

This is just a picture of Earl Bennett showing Jay what color jerseys his WRs are wearing Sunday after his FOURTH INT.

A QB rating of 43.2 and a COMP percentage of 47.2 to go with those four picks earned Cutler and Da' Bears a big L in Week One.

Maybe Earl should have shown that Jersey to Jay earlier in the game.

I don't think this is a picture of Coach Schwartz praising the play of Mr. Stafford or the rest of the Lovable Losers—better known as the Lions.

Who knows, they may go another 0-16 this season, even with the No. 1 Draft choice. They sure are off to a good start, only 15 more L's to go.

BTW, Stafford finished his first official NFL game with three INTs, zero TDs, a 43.2 COMP percentage, and a QB rating of 27.4.

Not a great way to keep your Head Coach from having a coronary, is it, Matt?

Winning the Top Bottom Award this week is Jake Delhomme, he of the 14.7 QB rating. UH-HUH, not a typo: a 14.7 rating.

And you get 10 points to just suit up!

He had three INTs, zero TDs, and a COMP percentage of 41.2, staying 1.2% points ahead of Jamarcus Russell for the lowest COMP percentage of this glorious group of "Not Ready for Prime Time" underachievers.

And to close this out, it doesn't always mean you come out a winner if you are a top five QB, as two of the five (Croyle and Edwards) earned Ls.

BUT...all five of the Bottom Five, did get their Ls, and most of them, deservedly so.

On to Week Two!