The Schottey Six: Top NFL Story Lines for Week Two

It's been said that Soldier Field looks like a spaceship crashed into the Colosseum.

If that is true, the aliens finally landed one safely, and it's in Arlington, TX. (I know, who would've guessed, right?)

Take your pick of egregious storylines—the scoreboard even a rookie punter can hit, the gigantic price tag, the concessions, the $60 pizza.

It's the opposite of a government stimulus. Jerry Jones has priced a family of four out of a football game. DirectTV couldn't be happier.

Unemployment is at 8.3 in Arlington. None of them would have been going to Cowboys games anyway, but this is like a kick to the teeth of a fallen man.

This stadium will either be Jerry Jones' greatest achievement or the albatross around his neck. It all depends on if he can put a new banner up in the rafters (hopefully out of a punter's reach).

Let's say you're a fantasy owner who happened to grab Drew Brees in the first round and the Eagles defense in the sixth or seventh.

How happy were you last week?

How pissed are you this week?

I have the Eagles' D, and I've already subbed them out in favor of the Chargers (vs. Baltimore)—good move, Bleacher Nation?

In real football, the story is (might be?) even bigger.

Are the Saints that much more improved, or was it just the Lions' lethargic D?

Is the Eagles' D THAT good? Or is Jake Delhomme just a walking pile of mess?

Some questions will be answered this week as strength on strength plays out at Lincoln Financial Field.

Then again, this might be completely moot with Kevin Kolb possibly starting at QB.

Caption Contest!

What could Dan "Wrong Way" Orlovsky have had to say as he ever-so-gently caressed Mark Sanchez?

Sanchez was the bees' knees in week one.

Matt Stafford was stung by the Saints' D.

Where does it go from here?

Stafford, the No. 1 overall pick, is certainly on a less talented team. He'll be facing the Vikings week two. Yikes! Jared Allen is licking his chops.

Sanchez has a great running back in Thomas Jones (who is laughing at all of us saying he was in decline). He also has a good offensive line and an emerging defense. He's facing New England this week. Yikes!

How will each QB fare against top-flight NFL defenses?

On a scale of one to infirmary, I would put my money on the latter.

Losing Pisa Tinoisamoa for a month—bad.

Losing Brian Urlacher for the season—there are no words.

After Chicago's offensive sputtering excuse for a week one, things didn't need to get worse for America's second city.

Putting Nick Roach on the strong side is not much of a drop-off. He'll muddle through and go unnoticed.

Hunter Hillenmeyer, on the other hand? Good for short bursts, but he's not Urlacher.

All this on top of Jay Cutler losing all of his composure? It's a recipe for disaster against the defending Super Bowl champs. Yikes!

See that, Chicago fans?

That's a lineman schooling a Packer pass rusher.

I point this out because you haven't seen it for a while.

Jon Runyan is one of the many veterans who is not monetarily available to be signed for non-guaranteed money. With the injury to Eagles RT Shawn Andrews, it is likely he'll be headed back to the same team he's spent eight seasons with.

Chris McAlister, our cover model, is 32 and coming off a knee surgery. The Bears, 49ers, and Jets have all expressed interest.

Matt Jones tried out a number of teams but couldn't earn a guaranteed contract; he'll get more looks this week.

Levi Jones is one of the most talented tackles in the league when healthy. The problem is the 30-year-old is never healthy.

Journeyman Paul Spicer is visiting with the Lions this week and may be able to help their struggling defensive line.

Dewayne Robertson is a former first round pick who is only 27! Certainly some coach thinks he can get talent out of him.

Jeff Garcia and A.J. Feeley are already with their new squads trying to help them out with various QB issues.

The last big personnel week is about to unfold. No huge name is going to be added, but the middle of rosters can be greatly improved this week.

The best organizations take note. The others just sit idly by.

This is the downside to our SportsCenter culture.

With the news about Michael Vick's latest bowel movement and whatever Brett Favre had for breakfast (high in fiber?!), we can barely take a breath to remember that some really great football is being played.

We see plenty of highlights of whatever Chad Ochocinco or T.O. is doing on the sidelines, but we miss some great plays because a certain game wasn't in a major media market.

Football is great!

Lost in the Cowboys' new Mecca of a stadium, the 1-0 Giants are playing the 1-0 Cowboys in a divisional rivalry. Scoreboard be damned! It's going to be a great game!

New England vs. the Jets? When hasn't that been a great game to watch? These fans hate each other! The teams aren't exactly exchanging Secret Santa names either.

Seattle and San Francisco? Who thought these would be two 1-0 teams vying for a spot at the top of the NFC West?

The No. 1 story line this week, as it is every week, is football. Eleven on 11, smashmouth, high-flying football.

And it's gonna be good!